Ode to the Tongue

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Tingling, Tasting, Tantalizing,

Swirling, Salty, Salacious,

Sexy, Sensual, and Luscious,

What more could we ask for?

 

Place your tongue gently on mine,

And swirl it around my mouth.

Taste my sweet juices on both my lips.

 

Delight in the flavor,

And tantalize me,

Now, and forever more.

Mmmmmmmmmmm!!!

A New Friend and Drunken Lover

Image result for 2 Drunk women kissing

Today as usual, I woke up with a huge hangover. What I normally do is to just take a drink from the hair of the dog and continue on from there. Today, however, I needed to go out. I took another drink, called my driver and had him drop me at the local neighborhood bar.

Normally, I don’t do this for two reasons:

  1. I don’t like everybody knowing that I’m an alcoholic
  2. At 9:00 AM I am not that sociable

I took my seat at the end of the bar, ordered a vodka martini, and started to watch TV. I noticed there was a pretty blond woman who looked to be in her mid-30’s sitting two stools down from mine, and she too was ordering martinis.

I moved over by her, ordered her a drink and we exchanged names. Her name was Dot, she said as we pretty much downed our drinks. I asked her what such a pretty young woman was doing in a bar at 9:00 AM and she said, “I could ask YOU the same question.”

We hit it off right away as she started telling me her story as to WHY she was sitting on a bar stool so early. She told me she was married once when young no kids, and that her husband, the love of her life cheated on her.

They divorced, and she took to alcohol as a stress reliever. She had started slow, and then started drinking earlier and earlier to numb the pain. Today, she said in a slightly slurred voice, she was a full blown alcoholic just like me.

About the 4th. Martini down, she looked at me with drunken eyelids, moved closer to me and placed her hand down inside the back of my jeans.

I was already half in the bag at this time, so I bought her a double martini and I too order one, and on went our conversation. She said she is usually here every morning drowning her sorrows.

Now, three sheets to the wind, I asked her if she ever thought about taking a woman as a sex partner, now drunk, she said yes. Two martini’s later, we were both wasted. I had the bartender call my driver and I asked Dot if she would like to go home with me.

Putting her arm around my shoulder, she leaned in and kissed me. I took that as a yes. My driver helped us both in my front door, and we immediately staggered to the bedroom. Off came her clothes, as did mine, and what a beautiful body she had.

Firm, round, yet perky tits, legs that wouldn’t quit, and a kiss that was wet and tasted like gin. I felt her pussy and it was dripping wet, just like mine. She put two fingers into my nether region which made me quiver and get wetter still.

I love a woman’s tits, so I caressed them and sucked them plentiful. She moaned and shouted out drunkenly, FUCK ME SOOZ!!! Kissing her all the way down her gorgeous body, I stopped at her mound. Slowly, I licked around the outside of her clit as she begged me to “finish her off”.

I put, my finger in her wet ass while I licked her to one of the best orgasms I have ever seen. She squirted as she came, and I got a mouthful.

Then, once relaxed, she came down to MY HOTSPOT, and liked me until I came so hard I squirted too.

We both fell into a drunken sleep. In the morning, I made 4 pitchers of martinis, two with gin, and two with vodka. I asked her if she would like to stay with me for a while and become my drinking buddy “with benefits”. “Yes,” she said, and we continued to drink until once again, until we were both loaded.

You can guess what happened next, YUP… and she is STILL here. Ahhhhh, ya gotta love the Xmas holidays.

Muah!!!

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drunken Chatter

Hi everyone, my name is Sooz and I am wasted. It’s OK though, it IS Saturday night and I am in a partying mood. So, if you see any mistakes in this, and you probably will, it’s NOT because I can’t write properly, it’s because I’m writing while drunk.

I was on here anyway, just checking out the “articles”, and so I thought I would come on and just say hi out there to all my friends. So…Hi!!! The picture above isn’t me, but, I AM drinking a bottle of Jack, and I WAS just dancing a few minutes ago.

No, not at a club, at my house, all by myself, now dressed in this.

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What do you think? Do you like it? Of course NOW I am all hot and bothered and about ready to call my neighbor over for some late night entertainment, if ya know what I mean.

I just called him, and he said,”Sooz, are you drunk again”? I replied, “YUP, so are ya cummin…?” Hehehehehehehehe. He’s coming over now so I better have a drink and a pee and I will talk to all of you later. Kisses to all!!!!!

MUAH!!!

 

 

 

 

Wacky Christmas Gifts

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In keeping with the Holiday spirit, I’ve decided to give an early release date for the wacky Xmas gifts. Please pick what YOU would like to get for your Aunt Mildred or Uncle Stachu.

For those of you who do White Elephant Gifting, here are a couple of great ideas for that someone special.

  • How about an ACTUAL White Elephant? You’ll have to white wash it, but hey, how can you go wrong?
  • Image result for A white elephant

 

  • Food for a month for your White Elephant. This usually will be just a tad bit more than the elephant itself, figure maybe 2000 dollars per day.

 

  • Lodging for your White Elephant-I doubt that you have a bedroom large enough to keep it so figure another 7K for the pen.

 

  • The ultimate wine Bottle glass-Take your favorite wine and pour it in the glass. It will hold the entire bottle. For those of you like ME, better buy 3, just in case your friend gets REALLY thirsty.
  • BigMouth Inc. Wine Bottle Glass

 

Or, how about some bacon toothpaste, hey, we ALL like bacon right?

These are just SOME of the ideas I have in mind so don’t delay, BUY them today.

Accoutrements Mr. Bacon's 2.5 Oz Bacon Flavored Toothpaste

 

Until Later…

 

 

 

Sensuality

Breasts

Luscious, salacious lips,

Slightly brushing tender erogenous nether regions.

Quiet moaning, erupting from a darkened arena.

Inhaling and exhaling, faster and faster at uneven paces.

 

Sounds of pleasure scream out from a quiet night.

Yessss, Oh Yessss, Ummmmm, Ahhhhhhh, YESSSSSS!!!!

Take me…Fuck me…Ohhhh… as the moaning becomes deafening.

Backs full of sweat with passions fire rising higher and higher.

 

Screaming out…FUCK ME!!!  I’m Cumming…

Then, a scream fills a once silent room…

Breasts lie silently against pressed flesh,

And all is a quiet, as sexual peace is once again restored to, a satisfied partner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I am embarrassed to ask this question but I’m going to do it anyway. My boyfriend and I have a regular sex life, but, last night, we went to a club and I got a little tipsy. The truth is, I was blasted.

When we got home, my boyfriend, (let’s call him Tom), asked if he could try anal sex. In my condition I said sure and then off came the clothes. I must admit, I was enjoying it after the initial penetration.

Anyway, what I failed to mention was it was unprotected. I was drunk and he was high so it just slipped both of our minds to use protection. Now, I am all worried about a possible pregnancy. What are your thoughts on this?

Drunken Experimenter

 

Dear Drunken Experimenter:

Obviously there is NO direct route from your anus to your vagina, however, if he was playing around OUTSIDE your anus and he had pre-cum NEAR your Vagina, it IS possible that one of those million little sperm buggers could have sneaked in and got to an egg.

Now, THIS is a Loooooong shot however. While I also enjoy anal sex, I recommend using a condom at all times. Remember that STD’S can be acquired without protection in addition to OTHER nasty diseases.

While I can’t give you a clean bill of health on the pregnancy, I WOULD advise you to stop fretting about this. Your odds of becoming pregnant this way are VERY SLIM.

I hope this has answered your question. Good Luck!!!

 

Sooz’s Christmas Letter to Santa

Image result for woman writing a letter to Santa while Drunk

Dear Santa:

As I write this Santa, I must admit I have been drinking. I hope that will not deter you from gracing my chimney and adding a load of presents by my tree. I must admit, for ME, I’ve been a “good” girl this year Santa, and if you’re good to me, I will make sure that you AND your reindeer have a ton of food to eat Xmas Eve.

Now for my gifts, since I am an alcoholic Santa, no one wants to be in a steady relationship with me, I was hoping you could find someone who could see me for the good things I do and accept me for who I am, you see, I am a lonely woman Santa, and a companion like that would really be appreciated.

I know what you’re going to say, “STOP DRINKING, and maybe I can get someone”. Believe you me Santa, I have tried and tried but to no avail. At this stage of my life, I could really use someone who is accepting rather than judgmental, ya know?

I KNOW that’s a tough one, but I would really like it if you could do something. I would also for at least 24 hours, true peace on Earth. I realize that THIS ask is for the Supreme Being, but I thought maybe you’ve had dealings with Her/Him before, so maybe that would be in the rehlm of possibility.

 Again, I realize this is a BIG ask, but, I believe once felt, they will continue on which will make the world a better place. I thank you for your kind attention, and say hi to Mrs. Clause for me. All the best,

Love,

Sooz

 

 

 

Christmas Memories

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Christmas time is, and always has been my favorite time of the year. Is it because of the lights or the Holiday Spirit, well, partly, but most of all, I LOVE giving to the poor and underprivileged.

I’m NOT patting myself on the back here, I am able to, and as such, I believe that by giving we receive. Does that make sense? They’re so many folks who have little or next to nothing who ALSO deserve a warm meal and some presents for their kids.

Years ago, my father instilled this in me as he would open our house up to help feed many underprivileged families. My mother would cook and cook until everyone was satisfied. Then, my father (who had hired someone to play Santa), would sing Christmas Carols as Santa handed out the presents to the children who were there.

Everyone, at least on Christmas Eve would leave a little happier than they came. I never forgot this lesson, on Xmas Eve, I go to the soup kitchens and help them cook and serve for countless people who would otherwise have little to eat.

Why do I do it, because to me, it is a blessing which reminds me of my gratefulness to the Almighty for being ABLE to give back? To ME, THIS is the REAL meaning of Christmas.

May you all have a very nice Holiday, and let me challenge you, (If you are able), to in some small way give back to those who may NOT have such a nice Christmas as you.

God Bless You All…

Until Later…