Bless me WordPress for I have sinned. I went shopping today with a buzz on and did the following:
- I yelled at 3 people that tried to buy something I wanted when there was only ONE item of each left. They called me a drunken Biatch, but, I still wound up with the items I wanted so THERE F**k heads.
- I waited in line to see Santa and gave him a Lap Dance…What??? Hey, Not my fault, I was buzzed. I must say though, Santa had a BIG present for me, and I liked it. I tried to get his number for later, but he said he was married so I thought better of calling him.
- I gave the Salvation Army Santa a hundred dollar bill, and when I asked if it was OK to feel his ass, he agreed. See, money CAN buy you SOME things. Man, I LOVE ASSES.
- I stopped at a couple of bars for some Xmas cheer, and I must admit, I was VERY cheerful when I left. I had kissed at least 3 patrons, including the female bartender. Will I burn in Hell???
- I got home, staggered in the door, fell to the floor, and decided I might just as well Masturbate while I was there, I was very HORNY!!!
- After the deed was done, I crawled to my bar, grabbed a bottle of Vodka and drank it till I passed out. I just woke up now. I am somewhat sober still, BUT, I can surely fix that.
OK, how many prayers am I going to have to say to FIX all of that, 10, 50, 100, WHAT??? That was MY day folks, I hope YOURS went a lot more smoothly. Until next time…
P.S.—In case you were wondering, I have a driver that takes me around. I do NOT Drink and Drive!!!