I’m a Redhead and Proud of it…

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I’ve been called MANY things because of my flowing red hair, red, the gingerbread girl, Red Baroness, even Little Red Riding Whore. The last was by a former paramour, which ended poorly.

Now, you may ask, “Do these terms bother you?” The answer is no, well, Little Red Riding Whore did, but in my ex-lover’s defense, at the time, I WAS a little whorish, I was also sleeping with her best friend…MY BAD.

The truth is, I am very proud of my red headed mane (And OTHER red parts), and you can pretty much call me any of the above, or more, without me getting sore. All my life I have been called one name or another, so by now, I’m used to it.

We redheads are a special breed. Usually, we are of Scottish or of Irish descent. With that DNA comes with it: quickness to anger, sometimes a tendency to drink a little too much, talk a little too much, will take a passionate stand against anything we believe in, oh and of course, AMAZING Lovemaking skills.

Being Irish, I have inherited these lovely DNA chromosomes, and by the way, my carpet DOES match the drapes, when I have drapes. I’m sure there are a few of you who just WANTED to ask that question…Naughty BOYS…

I will admit that I AM very passionate about things I believe in, and will do or say just about anything to get MY way. You already KNOW about my drinking habits, and I must tell you, my lovemaking skills are second to none. Am I bragging, you damn right I am, I am very proud of my Irish heritage.

A while back, as a youth, I decided that one day I would rule the world, well, that hasn’t quite happened yet, but, hey…Who knows, I can dream can’t I?

Battle of the Burgers, AND Subway

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Recently, Wendy’s Hamburgers have decided to re-create its burger. Yup, that’s right, no more just fryin’ up the burgers, and slappin’ them with lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise. That’s right folks; they have a whole new burger idea. I would tell you what they have in mind, but Wendy assassins are running around rampant and well, I’m afraid for my life.

I do believe it has SOMETHING to do with special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions on a sesame seed bun… Or is it that you can have it YOUR way, I don’t know, I’m confused. Maybe it had something to do with the pricing, like getting an entire meal for ten, for only 6.00 dollars. At ANY rate, it’s supposed to be DAMN good so you should go and try it.

McDonalds, on the other hand, has invented a great new marketing campaign, ALL DAY BREAKFAST… This has something that has been proposed since the STONE age by its customers, but McDonalds chose to ignore its customer base until it nearly went bankrupt and then thought… “Hey, All Day Breakfast, what a concept.”

Guess what, what the people had been saying for YEARS, finally came to pass. Low and behold, as soon as this change was made, McDonalds once again became popular. Just shows you what a little bit of creativity, and paying close attention to what your customer base is saying is all you need to become successful.

Subway, on the other hand, who until recently, sold their 10” subs for 5.00, decided that perhaps with just a slight raising of their margins, they could make a bigger profit. So, the Subway giants raised their margins by a measly dollar. This of course translates to let’s see…Carry the 5…Divide into 600.00…Subtract 47…Add the carryover of 6…OK…Well, It’s A LOT OK!!!

The spokesman for the Company, Jarod, said from his prison cell, it’s due to the rising costs of goods and services. This of course translates into the company’s LEGAL FEES they used to try and get him acquitted… In ANY event, it will now cost us an extra buck to get to eat one of these delightful sandwiches.

Is there MORE change on the Horizon,stay tuned, THIS reporter will keep you up to date…Good Day!!!

Ground Hog Day

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OK, it’s time to give up talking about who will beat who, and when, and start talking about something that is REALLY important… Ground Hog Day.  Yup, that’s right folks, Ground Hog Day.

This is the treasured day when Punxsutawney Phil comes out of his little hole, and with just a whiff of the air, and the aid with, or without his shadow showing,  decides whether we Humans will have another six weeks of cold blustery Winter, or, enjoy an early Spring.

I am pleased to inform all of you lovely people that today, our illustrious Meteorologist Phil, who is usually right over the years at an average of 39%,  has prognosticated that we SHALL have an early Spring.

So, for all you surfers, beach goers, and folks who enjoy long tall drinks with umbrellas in them, I suggest you get out your bathing suits, suntan lotion, and beach hats, and get ready for the burn. Go ahead, I’ll be right behind you, just as soon as I make sure that Phil’s hangover is completely gone.

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

Two years ago, my husband of 8 years abandoned me. Since then, I have moved on and have met a very nice man. We go everywhere together and do the most amazing things. I believe I have fallen in love with him Sooz.

Then, 30 days ago, out of the blue, my husband comes waltzing back into my life. He says he is sorry and that he has always loved me. I won’t lie Sooz, there is a connection there, but I have moved on with my life.

I am so confused, I don’t know what to do. I still have feelings for my long lost husband, but I am in love with my new man, What should I do?

Confused wife

 

Dear Confused Wife:

Dump that son of a bitch husband of yours for the new guy. If he loved you so much, why did he take off in the first place? Once a wanderer, always a wanderer. Your feelings are those of the good times that your Ex and you used to share, NOT love.

Men like that are no good and DESERVE to live on their own. Drop him like a hot potato and keep on moving forward. Better to be divorced and happy, than with a dead beat and be sad.

You have earned your happiness, now TAKE it!!! Good luck…

 

 

Trump’s Fairy Tale

 

 

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Once upon a time, there was a man born, named Donald Trump. He was a nice boy with TERRIBLE hair. His father, a rich real estate mogul, brought his son up with a silver spoon in his mouth, little Donald wanted for nothing.

As He grew, Donald became very outspoken, pretty much saying ANYTHING he wanted without being rebuked by anyone. He knew that no one would correct him because his rich daddy would protect him.

Once Donald was old enough, his father, took little Donald under his wing and taught him how to yell at people, tell lies to get ahead, and spend millions of his father’s money to build giant buildings.

Once old enough, Donald’s father cut him loose, gave him millions of dollars to get started in life, and sent him on is own. Luckily, Donald had learned all the tricks he needed, to cheat, steal, and yell his way to success.

After spending millions of dollars  and going bankrupt four times, Trump was bored. He decided he needed something else to become successful at. He thought and he thought until he decided that perhaps he could use his unique business skills to become President and run the free world.

Well folks, here we are, the Donald is here. I’m sure that many folks who enjoy hearing loud, obnoxious yelling, false claims, and ignorant sexual remarks are in The Donald’s corner, I however am not.

Certainly this is a free Country and folks have the right to make ANY choices they are, no matter HOW wrong they may be. Let me just say…God Bless America, and may all those who are voting take the time to thoroughly investigate the candidates BEFORE you cast our vote.

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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For 19 years, my husband and I have been in a love/hate relationship. You see, when he drinks, he goes nuts and starts smacking me around. When he is sober, he is a totally different person and is very loving.

I have called the cops several times for domestic disputes and they come, but hardly ever do anything. I have gone to a women’s shelter on three different occasions, but  Manny, (Not real name), will come hat in hand and profusely apologize. Ultimately, I will take him back.

I understand I am in an abusive relationship, but sometimes he will go months without hitting me. I have been with him so long I am just used to the abuse, can you offer me any suggestions that will help?

Battered Baby

 

Dear Battered Baby:

Pick up your cute little Bum and get the HELL outta there. Your husband is a classic abuser and should either be in treatment or in jail. Women who stay with men like this usually have low self esteem and also need counselling.

It’s this low self esteem which is usually the cause why thousands of women continue to stay with their abusive mates. Please, for your own safety, get out and stay either with a friend until you can get back on your feet or at a women’s shelter.

Leave sometime when he is gone so it will be harder for him to find you. Then, get a protection order against him. While that won’t stop him from looking,  if he DOES find you, you can have him arrested.

I will send you some literature regarding battered wife syndrome, and places to stay in your area. I give you my complete support and I urge you to consider my request for counselling.

 

 

Man or Machine?

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Not too long ago I watched the movie Her by Spike Jones. In this movie, the main character had a cell phone that could actually interact on an intelligent basis with the star, and it developed into his best friend, and then his lover.

This got me to thinking, how much of this could actually become a reality in the near future. Think about it, machines are being developed to get smarter and smarter every day. People are using the internet now to help put them together, all through the use of a computer.

Houses can be vacuumed with robots, robots wash our dishes and our wash, even the common stove which used to be just a heating device has now become electronically constructed to tell us WHEN to take the food out,  AND at what temperature to put in in at.

Where will it end? Will machines actually take over Humankind as we know it? In the doomsday scenario, that contingency is up within the top five. It’s frightening really if you just sit and think about it occasionally like I do.

I can actually see in the future where our cell phones WILL become our best friends and lovers. Sad, isn’t it? Hopefully, by that time, I will be old and gray. Don’t get me wrong, I think technology is great, I just think think we as a species should have a much tighter control over it.

Just my random thinking, I guess I should get back to work and stop all this mindless daydreaming.

Workout…WHAT???

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Like many Americans, January was the time to add all your New Year’s resolutions to your goal set. Some folks wanted to lose 100 Lbs. and look like Jennifer Lopez, or George Clooney, How’s that workin’ out for ya?

Like most of us, you have good intentions. You put on your workout clothes, so that everyone could SEE you were serious. Then, you jogged the 3/4 miles to the Gym, well…OK….25ft…But STILL,you gave it a go.

The cab dropped you off right in front f the gym door and you huffed and puffed your way to the NEAREST piece of equipment you could find. Proudly stepping on that treadmill you put it on level 10 so that everyone could see that you were really trying.

Once you picked yourself up from the floor, you re-started it on level 1, and decided to try THAT out. After twenty minutes on level 1 Yo proudly took your towel, wiped your face, which was dripping wet with salt water, and called it a day. After all, you didn’t ant to lose the whole 100 Lbs. in just one day like they do on The Biggest Loser.

You stagger to the candy machine with your towel securely around your neck, and press for the M&M’s candy. Certainly, you NEEDED a reward. Proudly you stepped out of that gym, and back into the cab, knowing full well that in YOUR mind, you did everything you could do.

That, my friends, is why most of us don’t look like Jennifer Lopez or George Clooney, just sayin’.

 

Just My Two Cents Worth

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The Academy awards this year has NOT chosen any people of color for an Oscar nomination. As a result, some of the black community proposes to boycott the Oscars in retaliation.

Now, I am CERTAINLY NOT racist, but here is how I feel. First of all, there are some GREAT actors and actresses of color who grace our movie screens each year. Does this mean however that there are ALSO not some great white, yellow, red, and or other good actors who may also delight the audiences?

My answer is a firm NO. Does the Academy have blinders on when it comes to the people who play in these rules, I don’t know, but I don’t believe that the black community needs to be up in arms because of a lost nomination.

Perhaps the Oscar committee just felt that this year there were more significant people who were NOT of color to be nominated for an Oscar. There HAVE been people of color nominated before AND who have won in several different areas.

I just don’t get the whole race card thing, never did, never will. ALL people are equal damnit and we are ALL Human Beings…Get Over it… Live your lives, invent stuff, find the cure for the major diseases, feed the hungry and have compassion on the poor. If you DO THIS, I will give you an Oscar MYSELF… Just my two cents worth. I love you all…