Here We Go Again

 Sooz strikes again, THIS time plumbing. My faucet in my bathroom sink started to leak last night, and so I figured I would roll up my big girl panties and fix it. I’ll admit, my track record with DIY isn’t that great but I was DETERMINED.

Got my hammer, screwdriver and heavy duty wrench ready to tackle the job. By the way, that’s what I bring it to ALL my DIY projects, I used to also bring in a big bottle of Vodka but now I just bring Iced tea.

So I see the leak and figure it’s just a washer right? Luckily, I had spare parts from when the plumber fixed it the LAST time, so I was pretty confident I KNEW how this repair was gonna go.

I had to unscrew the top, replace the washer and rubber spacer, screw and tighten the top, and Taaaa Daaaa, my plumbing job would be complete. Easy ,Right? Well, in theory, yes, in PRACTICE….BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got in there with my handy plumbers wrench and placed it tightly around the handle. I turned, NOTHING. Again I labored a little harder…ZIP! Now understand, I was DETERMINED here, I don’t know the MEANING of the word defeat.

With all my power I shoved that wrench around until….Oops, I BROKE The damn thing. What the F*&K is WRONG with me? Why can’t I DO this? I was sooooooo frustrated, I went next door to my HUNK neighbor and aske him to come over.

It was late so all he could do was shut of the water, but in the end, he got HIS treat for coming over anyway. In the morning, I called the plumber and had it fixed… No more DIY Sooz for me, next time, I’m callin’ in the BIG guns to take care of my repairs.


Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have been married to my husband for over 20 years, recently, he claims that I have started to snore sounding like a building being demolished. Admittedly, he is a light sleeper so I have bunked into the spare room.

The problem is, he is retiring soon and wants to start crusing the world. I am afreaid that I will just keep him up all night and that ‘neither’ of us will benefit from the sound of my Moose calling everynight. Any thoughts on this one?

No Rest For the Wicked

Dear No Rest For the Wicked:

While snoring has been an age old annoyance for ever, NOW, there are MANY things on the market which can quiet your trumpeting. These include:

* Nasal Sprays

* Nose Strips

* Mouth Pieces

* Chin Straps

* Change your Pillows

* Rinoplasty

* Avoiding Alcohol

* Get a C-PAP system

Depending whether or not you have sleep Apenea is the big thing. If you do, the C-PAP machine works WONDERS to help eliminate your snoring. See your Dr. for a sleep study to see what he/she reccommends, and put that Trumpet calling nose of yours to rest. Good luck…

Giggle Time–The New Computer User–

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50fuckingboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.


WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in u

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^&&*^^*&^%(*(*&(*^*&**$(*&{)&*T&


Lazy Days

It’s Monday, I’m tired, and I don’t feel like working. Long and tiring weekend filled with enough paperwork to choke a horse. WHat the HELL does THAT mean any??? Never heard a horse choke, and have SURE never seen them eat loads of paper. Goat…Maybe, horse, not so much.

I’m in one of those devil may care attitudes today, feelin’ a little reckless, kinda like I wanna chuck it all and go live in a “van down by the river for a while” (Saturday Night Live reference), ya know?

I believe I need some ME time. Time to just sit by the water somewhere, listen to the rocks crashing against the shore, and just letting my mind wonder. It’s been a while since I just got away from all the pressure and just put my feet up, closed my eyes, and let my mind transport me anywhere in the world…Ahhhhhhh!!!!!

Raise your hands if YOU feel like that too sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my job and my other businesses, it just seems like lately, I’ve been burning the candle at both ends.

Oh well, guess it goes with the territory, plus, I’m such a control freak, I want everything done MY way. THAT is where the extra pressure comes from…ME…Well, guess I better get back to the paperwork, it certainly WON’T do itself…Thanks for listening.

Until Later…

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am a 38 year old woman with a problem. My 21 year old boyfriend and I are in love, he wants to marry me, but, I am afraid that our age differences are against us. Other than our age difference, we are very compatible.

Do you think it is possible for a 17 year age split to work in a marriage?

Undecided Bride to Be

Dear Undecided Bride to Be:

The short answer is YES, I think it is possible. I must say though, you WILL have your work cut out for you. I believe as long as he shares the same interests as you, you have a very good shot at making it.

Sure, people will stare, wonder if he is your son etc., but as long as you can handle the criticisms and the age difference doesn’t bother either one of you, I say Go For It!!! Good luck.

New Odds Just In

Update:—Vegas Odds on the Presidential race—Hillary is in the lead with 11/8 odds. Trump and Bush are now tied at 9/2…*SERIOUSLY??????????* Trump WAS 100/1 odds. What the HELL are the American people THINKING?????? OMG…  

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I am a 36 yearold woman with a horrendous fear of riding the ferris wheel. As a kid, my father would take me to the amusement park and make me ride this huge wheel in the sky. I told him I didn’t want to ride it but he insisted and said I had nothing to fear.

Then, he would rock the damn chair, which would make me ball like a baby. I have been afraid of them ever since. I have just met a wonderful man, the only problem is, he is a huge amusement park and fair type of guy.

I just know he is going to want to ride that death machine, how can I do this when I am scared out of my mind?

Scardy Cat

Dear Scardy Cat:

OK, I am NOT a liscenced Therapist or Psychologist, but, I DO know a thing about trauma. What your father did to you was cruel, what HE thought was just good natured fun, to YOU it was torture. Rocking the damn car…UNBELIEVABLE…???…

It’s no WONDER you have a panic attack everytime you think about it. In MY experience, the best thing to do in order to face your fears is to get right back on that scary horse and stare it in the eye.

If your boyfriend WANTS to go on the ferris wheel, say OK, BUT, make sure he knows there will be NO rocking. Have him hold you tight, and talk to you to help act as a distraction. You will NOT be cured the first time, but hopefully, after several rides of easy does it, and no rocking , your fear of this once dreaded experience will dissapate, and you will be able to finally enjoy the sights at the top. Good luck on this one.