The HATED Chore

For those of you who have NOT already figured it out, and NO, I’m NOT talking about picking up ELEPHANT Poop,(Although that DOES sound disgusting too), I’m talking about the dreaded TOILET cleaning.

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ImageIn MY opinion, there is nothing worse than sticking your hand down the toilet(Especially if it’s clogged), to fix and CLEAN it. OMG, I just want to gag every time I even have to THINK about it.

Of course, I usually put it off as LONG as possible and so when I DO clean it, DISGUSTING doesn’t even come close to the word to describe it. I know what you’re thinking, “But Sue, how can you NOT stand having a clean toilet?” My answer to that would be one simple Letter…the big “L”. For those of you who may NOT be familiar with the big “L”, it stands for LAZY!!!

Now, to clean MY toilet, you need the following tools:

Toilet brush
Scalding Hot water
Plunger(Just in case)
Industrial strength Bleach
Jack Hammer
Necessary Building code permits
Gas Mask
HEAVY DUTY RUBBER GLOVES
LUCK

OK, I’ve put it off too long now, it’s time for the dirty deed to be handled. Boldly I go where NO man has gone before, into the depths of disgust and the chasms of YUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forcefully I journey into the Jaws of HELL as I utilize the mask and gloves and dive into the abyss below. Being religious,(Yeah RIGHT), I have already said 4 Novenas and have chanted countless Brahman chants in the HOPES that I would come out of this ordeal ALIVE!!!

Finally, the moment of reckoning has arrived, I have begun my quest and I have conquered it. Of course, NOW it is time to undue the pain that this deplorable job has inflicted. I SPRINT to the liquor cabinet and immediately pour a healthy portion of Vodka in a glass and fill it with a “TOUCH” of Cranberry juice. I drink it down, have another, and THEN, I am feeling MUCH better about my accomplishment.

The DEED has been conquered, I am the VICTOR and I can go BACK to  being the well mannered SLOB that I am…

Until Later…

13 thoughts on “The HATED Chore

  1. I work at a place where, sadly, the public is allowed to roam. Even sadder? We have a rest room. Yesterday I went in there because, while passing I could hear the water running yet knew no one was in there and was not only rewarded for my work place initiative with a shit abortion covering far reaching locales, it did so with a force that moved a bolted down object about an inch from where it has always resided.

    I thought it best to clean before relocating the toilet.

    Now knowing you got to slam some vodka right after makes me sadder still.

    I had to wait another four hours.

    Like

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