Sex and The Single Gal

Today I want to talk bout what’s near and dear to all of us…SEX. Being single in today’s fast paced world is definitely NOT easy. Getting LAID is NOT as easy as everyone assumes by watching TV.

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                          CAN I Get LAID Tonight?

Let’s face it, EVERYBODY on TV is getting it, EVERYBODY. It really doesn’t matter whether you’re watching a Dr. show, or a Cop show, EVERYBODY seems to be doing it in some unusual places. Tell me, am I RIGHT?

Storage rooms, supply closets, I men YOU think about it and someone is getting their NETHER regions slapped and tickled. Guess what, in REAL life…HELLLLLLLLO, it’s NOT like that.

Take ME for instance, (PLEASE), I couldn’t resist, I absolutely LOVE SEX, BUT, do you see me with MY skirt up over my head in some dirty supply closet??? NO!!!

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So what’s the REAL truth here folks? Getting Laid is HARD. Oh I know what you’re thinking, “But Sue, just show us you’re interested and we would be HAPPY to oblige you.” BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!

OK, I am not the most SUBTLE woman in the world, (Could you tell), But even ‘I’ have a hard time getting Mr. Happy to come out to play. You know WHY, Society that’s why. Yup, even though we have just about every pill and tool out there known to man so we can’t get pregnant, Guys are still a little shy.

Oh sure, sometimes we may FORGET to take our birth control pill a day or so a week but Hey, THAT could happen to anybody RIGHT? Guys, for the MOST part are still shy around women. If you are LUCKY enough to get a womanizer, GREAT, if not, if ya wanna get some ACTION, you have to TAKE some action.

Now, just WHAT do I mean by that? Well, you have to SHOW the guy you’re interested. Laugh at all his silly jokes, keep eye contact, touch his shoulder with your hand, OR…You can just GRAB HIS DICK. Just kidding, sort of, but show him that you WANT it. Whisper in his ear. Say things like… “Hey, I’m horny as HELL and I’d like to get LAID.

OK, again I’m just kidding but GIVE him that “Come On” look in your eyes. Ask him if he’d like to come up for a drink and then change into something a little more comfortable, like your SEXIEST lingerie.

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If THAT doesn’t work folks, NOTHING will. Tell him what a great time you had as you stand there with your undies sopping wet, and bid him adieu. Maybe NEXT time will be YOUR time to get LUCKY. I HOPE you found this enlightening.

Until Later…

Disclaimer: The above post was written by a HORN DOG and should NOT be perceived to have the above events taken other than with a grain of HUMOR!!

28 thoughts on “Sex and The Single Gal

  1. Um, how bad is it I’ve done basically everything your “jokingly” suggested to get a guy to band you? Grab a cock is like my fav move. In Vegas recently I was chillen with this guy (we were in a mutual group but I hadn’t met him till that day, we were flirty earlier so it was kinda implied, at least to me, we were gunna end up hooking up) and we were at the club, Jermaine Dupree was deejaying, and I just took his hands and put them on my tits. Yep, in a crowded club, wearing a skin tight dress. He was like… Jermaine Dupree is staring right at us…Yah like he hasn’t see worse! I waited on line for almost an hour to get in the club and was there for 20 min before hopping in a cab to go back to the hotel to shag.

    I also once, while backpacking in Argentina, turned to a guy mid group convo and said “I’ll hook up with you”. He was super hot, British, quiet, his friends told me he was in desperate need of a good lay. He kinda looked at me like are you serious. We all went back to chatting, 10 min later he asks “so you wanna go back now?” lol.

    The good old days…I have more, guys ARE shy. Once a friend of a guy I wanted to get with told me to make a move NOW before he’s too drunk to be useful and was too shy to ever make a move. Sometimes….if you really want it, you just gotta go get it! and yes im obviously horny too since its been like months since ive had sex…friggen sex hiatus..

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  2. As George Takei would say… Oh myyyy…. 🙂 Back in my playa days, I thoroughly enjoyed forward young ladies such as yourself. All you gots to do is “Say hello to my not so little friend….” heh heh heh I never had a problem with a lack of willing subjects. I can see how that would totally suck. I recently read something that said over 50% of singles now haven’t had a date in 2-3 years? Yikes. Things were so much easier back in the day. So glad I’m hitched to my hottie now. Without regular “wrasslin” matches I would be a rude, bitter, sassy person indeed. I applaud you on being able to keep up the good humor, I could not.

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  3. when i was bitching to R about this… all he said was “YOU’RE A GIIIIIIRL!!!! YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYYYYYYYTHING” … i tried that mentality one night and it totally worked!!! my new problem is learning how to harness/contain it, haha :/ whoops!

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