Sex In The Olympics

The Olympics has been around for ohhhh I don’t know, since the FIRST Chicken crossed the road I think. In ALL those years, WHY haven’t they added SEX as an Olympic sport? I mean think about it, it’s competitive, physical, and Hell it’s even RATED so WHY the HELL isn’t it considered part of the games?

Actually, there could be several different events, the Gay and Lesbian event, the Straight Sex event, and even the different POSITIONS event. OMG!!! It just boggles the mind.

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                                              This was rated a SIX

Can’t you just see it now:

Announcer:

“Well Marcie, here we are at the Six Hundred and Fiftieth Olympic Games. It sure is gonna be a good one this year. We have EVERY Country IMAGINABLE coming this year to take part in the NEW sport…Competitive SEX.” “Let’s go to one of our contestants now from Gamfuckastan and see how THEY feel about this new event.”

Announcer:

“Tell me Mr. Bugfuckalot, who do you see as your fiercest competitors?”

Mr. Bugfuckalot:

“Well Pepper, I think that the Americans or the French have a good HANDLE on this event. I see them practicing EVERYWHERE.” Just this morning, I saw a couple having sex on a seesaw.” They were REALLY goin’ at it, Up and Down, Up and Down, I didn’t think they would EVER stop.”

Announcer:

“What do you think is gonna be the most COVETED position?”

Mr Bugfuckalot:

It’s HARD to say, I think the Cowgirl position is probably the odds on favorite.” “Lots of Yee Hawin’ and Ride ‘em Cowboy noises goin’ on in the Hotel rooms.”

Announcer:

“How are they gonna grade them?”

Mr. Bugfuckalot:

“Well Pepper, It’s graded on three things:”

* Amount of Noise made in Decibels Moaning
* How LONG they can go before Orgasming
* Whether or NOT they immediately fall ASLEEP afterwards

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Announcer:

“Well, I’ve heard that the Americans have a slight disadvantage on the third one.”

Mr. Bugfuckalot:

“They DO Pepper, MOST of the partners so far have fallen asleep IMMEDIATELY afterwards.

Announcer:

“ I wanna thank you Mr. Bugfuckalot for stopping by and giving our viewers a little update on the event.”

Mr. Bugfuckalot:

” Your more than welcome Pepper, thank you for having me.”

Anyway, the Olympics is ONLY a short 4 years away, so, let’s get a letter writing campaign going and see if we can have it entered for the next Olympics. I have to go now…Gotta Practice…

Until Later…

22 thoughts on “Sex In The Olympics

  1. Booooo my pole vault comment was already taken! *sad panda* In 2 years the Winter Olympics will be on, it could be a winter event! It would add a degree of difficulty. Nipple Ice Sculpting! I am so in on that one. 🙂

    Like

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