Hangovers And Cures For Dummies

First, you need a hangover…That’s easy, just follow my simple steps and you’ll be so drunk, you will indeed cause a hangover.

          I KNOW i CAN MAKE IT TO THE TOILET

Step 1.    Take your favorite alcoholic drink whether it’s beer, White Russians, or Vodka and Cranberry like me and drink like a fish.

Step 2.    When you can no longer remember WHY you’re doing this, there’s a good chance your drunk. This is also true if you can no longer pronounce the word CAT. You can tell when I’m drunk because I tend to get a little, (OK…a LOT slutty), and will probably tell you that you are the cutest, sweetest, and most loving person I happen to be next to at the time.

Step 3.    Once your good and drunk, I always feel like it’s time to go home, with or without said drinking partner. Call a cab, go home, then get into bed (preferably with your clothes off), although in my case it never seems to happen that way unless my drinking buddy has accompanied me home and has done the honors FOR me.

Step 4.    Wait until morning. Now, if you’re like me, you will probably curse the first light that comes through your window. Next…You say in a very soft voice, “What the HELL did I DO last night?” However, as hard as you try, you won’t remember. Hopefully your friends will all call you later just to fill you in and then LAUGH at you.

OK…Here is where you need some hangover advise so you are able to get your clothes on, or off depending, without hurting your entire body.

Hangover Cure #1.    Don’t EVER drink again. I don’t know HOW many times I have tried and failed at this one.

Hangover Cure #2.    Hair of the dog…This is actually not the Hair from your Dog so don’t chase down Arfie trying to shave him. This is the same drink you had last night that caused the hangover. I can’t seem to do this one either ‘cause I usually just keep on drinking until I have no Hangover, BUT, I’m drunk again.

Hangover Cure #3.    Drink lots of water and take lots of aspirin. This may not help right away, BUT, the water and aspirin may make you Hurl and then you will feel better.

Hangover Cure #4.    Blend 1 egg with orange juice, milk, and Tabasco sauce. I Know right, sounds disgusting BUT…It actually works. Don’t have any idea why, but it does.

Hangover Cure #5.    Go back to bed and sleep like there was no tomorrow, Then, get up and repeat the process all over again tonight.

I hope this has been helpful to all.

Until Later…