ATTENTION: The following contains ADULT content and should only be viewed by those either OVER 18 years of age OR Just plain wanna read ADULT material.
“Hi, my name is Erin Susan (Irish surname), and I’m a NYMPHOMANIAC DRUNK.” I never did like the term alcoholic because THEN people would THINK you attend MEETINGS, which I DON’T!!! I just wanted to tell you a little about myself because, well, people USUALLY LIKE that kinda stuff, PLUS…I’m DRUNK!!! YUUUUUUUUUUP..That’s right, it’s only 8:00 AM and I am ALREADY hammered. I got up at 6:00 this AM, had a hangover so I thought I would just take a hair of the dog and just out drink my headache. Guess what? It WORKED…YEA!!!!!! Only problem is…NOW, I’m drunk again, YIKES!!! Hey…It’s GOTTA be 5 O ‘Clock SOMEWHERE right???
I’m ALSO a HOT, (SIZZLING), card carrying NYMPHOMANIAC. I AM!!! Ask my Psychotherapist if you don’t believe me. Although, SHE refers to my “condition” as “HYPER SEXUAL TENDENCIES” PAAALLLLLEEEEESSSSSEEEE!!!! I LOVE to FUCK (SHHHHHHHHHHHH), I am ALSO Bi-Sexual so it’s MUCH easier to get a date. I sooooo wanna be”NORMAL” but I think THAT ship has sailed a LONG time ago.
In truth, I LOVE to drink, AND, I love to have SEX. I could have sex 24/7 and NEVER tire of it. Now, I KNOW what you’re thinking, “Sooz, you are makin’ ALL this up”…NOPE!!! I’m NOT, PINKIE SWEAR!!! Ever since I came into puberty, I have ALWAYS known 2 things. One, I love both Men AND women, and two, I LOVE SEX!!!
Yes, I KNOW it’s not “NORMAL’ but, that’s the way it is. I have tried pills, relaxation techniques, and even TOYED with ELECTRO SHOCK therapy, (Until I sobered up), but ALL to no avail. I FEEL like I NEED sex ALL the time. My Vajay Ja keeps egging me on saying,” SHE looks Cute Sooz, why don’t you DO her”, OR… “Hey Sooz, HE is SEXY…I’ll bet HE could “KNOCK YOUR PANTY HOSE OFF”. The MIND just won’t let me alone. Talk, talk, talk is ALL it ever does. Meanwhile, I just keep getting hotter and hotter until I have a STRING of one night drunken stands, OR I have to PLEASURE MYSELF with Mr. Dildo and COMPANY!!!
As for the drinking, it all started as a bet with my 13 year old girlfriend. The bet was to open my mother’s liquor cabinet, get some booze, and SEE who could get DRUNK the fastest. I WON!!! I ALSO had my FIRST DRUNKEN love making experience that day AND also my first HANGOVER the next. Yes I’ve tried AA, there are just TOO many freakin’ steps to take. Four or FIVE OK, 12…You’ve gotta be FUCKIN’ KIDDING me! I would get through 3, get bored, and go out and get DRUNK!!!
Just so you don’t think I am a TOTAL loser, let me just say that I have 2 degrees, a BS in Business, and an MS in Marketing. I currently run my own Advertising and Marketing firm and I do VERY well. The PROBLEM is, I am STILL single. Yes I do very well and the money is good, BUT, I also want to have a steady guy or partner I can commit myself to. OK, Now I KNOW I am TOTALLY wasted because I see here that I am TOTALLY rambling!!! Hehehe.
OMG!!! Is it HOT in here or is it just my Pussy? I can see this is a good time to stop and do a little “SOUL” searching. OK, you caught me, I just wanna get my DILDO out and go to bed. Thanks for listening folks and I will talk with you soon.LOVE YOU ALL…LITERALLY!!!. Hehehehehe.