I Have GUNK Stuck In My Teeth

So…How many times has THIS happened to you? You are perfectly happy eating a Peanut Butter and Salami Sandwich with Hot peppers and mustard, when ALL of a sudden, you get a piece of Salami stuck SOMEWHERE in between one of your teeth.

You cry out, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH because, well, you’re frustrated and as I’ve said, you’ve got this Humongous piece of SALAMI stuck in some hidden away crevice of your tooth.

Your FIRST thought is…“Sue, How are you going to get this disgusting THING out of your mouth?” Naturally, you go into the bathroom and get out your tooth brush, and brush your teeth until they bleed like rivers of blood flowing down a mountain stream. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! This doesn’t work…NOW what?

Next, you decide to try and use a Toothpick and FLASHLIGHT to help LOCATE this now bothersome piece of Italian Meat. Using the huge bathroom mirror as a guide, you flash the light around to see if you can SPOT the little devil. You can’t.

Frustrated, I just stab the Toothpick into the first Tooth I BELIEVE it might be stuck in. I poke, I prod, I curse and swear, and when THIS doesn’t work, I try the NEXT tooth. NOPE!!! Keep trying…Over and over I dig until my GUMS are raw from the search.

My mouth is getting REALLY torn up now and is starting to hurt so I decide to help EASE the pain with a bottle of Vodka.

Ahhhhh….The pain has subsided, I LOVE everybody, (Literally if I could), and say SCREW the Salami. After thinking about what I’ve just said in my drunken state, PLUS the Vodka, I am now EXCITED. I decide I need some positive reinforcement. I proceed to take out and use my toys to give myself some well deserved pleasure.

Oh…I STILL had the GUNK in my mouth BUT, I no longer CARED!!! Life was good and all was well with the world once again.

P.S. The GUNK came out by ITSELF. When I woke up, it was gone. I guess the Salami Fairies came and took it while I was sleeping. Sheese!!! Go Figure!!!

Until Later…