10. My mother is too drunk to drive me in.
9. My boyfriend stole my pants and I have see through undies.
8. I broke my glasses and am waiting to have my windshield replaced with prescription glass.
7. It’s Cinco De Mayo and I’m Mexican.
6. The Dr. says my hangover will be much better by tomorrow.
5. My car won’t start and I’m waiting on triple D’s, I mean triple A.
4. My breast augmentation prevents me from steering.
3. Hey, Halloween only comes once a year.
2. My welfare check is gone so I won’t be in until the 15th.
1. My favorite fish just died and I need to go and attend it’s funeral