Here’s a question, do you feel guilty if you fake an Orgasm? Guys, you can answer this too, don’t be shy. I will openly say in front of God and everyone that I have FAKED the big “O”, and NOT just once. Any other hand raisers who have done this?
I mean really, I Love Sex, I do, but I am also not a machine either. I need to be in the proper frame of mind to be able to be “with” it, ya know…DRUNK… Sometimes rather than refuse sex, I say sure and then hope for the best, BUT, if it’s not happening, then…It’s NOT happening. Rather than disappoint my partner in crime, I will just FAKE it. I feel REALLY guilty when I do this, I feel like I’m a kid who got caught stealing candy from the grocery store. The only reason I do it is this way my partner feels good and hopefully we can do it another time when I’m in the mood.
Tell me if you disagree, but, I believe since the beginning of time, women (and MAYBE), men have been faking orgasms. Even in the Garden of Eden, I believe that after a while, Eve was just plain tired from gathering nuts and berries all day. After that, she had to go home to the cave, cook Adam a sumptuous meal of nuts and berries, and then, she had to clean it all up after…Who WOULD be ready for sex after that?
All of a sudden, Adam gives her that strip off that leaf baby and lets make children look. Now Eve is thinking, Oh Man, NOT again. But, to please her man, and CREATE the Human race, she gives in.
So…Adam is pumping away at it going “Grr, Azho, Blab“,(which means…WHO’S YOUR DADDY BABY), and Eve is thinking ARE WE DONE YET? Eve figures OK, if I fake it maybe he will just quit and I can go back to my TV program(oops…wrong century). Sooooo, in the interest of ending it, she lets out a major scream and says, “Babba Loo, Babba Loo, Which means (Great Job Baby, You’re the best). DUH!!!!!! He’s the ONLY man around sister, think about it.
After they are finished, Adam turns to Eve and says “*&^%$*&^” which means…Do ya wanna raise a little Cain later? Eve replies, “ ))((__())((( “ which means….If I am Abel….(Get it??? Cain and Abel). Ho boy…
Anyway, This goes on and on for centuries until we arrive at present day, Women faking it, Men loving it. So is life. I mean, what’s the harm in a little deception if no one gets hurt, right? So WHY do I feel so F***ing guilty then….Grrrrrr. Help me out here somebody PLEASE!!!!!! Ease my mind, tell me some lies…ANYTHING that makes me feel better about it…Am I the only one who does this or are there others? Let me hear from you, and tell YOUR stories.
That’s all I got for now, I’m going into the bedroom now and practice…YOU KNOW.