Shhhhhh…I Faked the Big “O”

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Here’s a question, do you feel guilty if you fake an Orgasm? Guys, you can answer this too, don’t be shy. I will openly say in front of God and everyone that I have FAKED the big “O”, and NOT just once. Any other hand raisers who have done this?

I mean really, I Love Sex, I do, but I am also not a machine either. I need to be in the proper frame of mind to be able to be “with” it, ya know…DRUNK… Sometimes rather than refuse sex, I say sure and then hope for the best, BUT, if it’s not happening,  then…It’s NOT happening. Rather than disappoint my partner in crime, I will just FAKE it. I feel REALLY guilty when I do this, I feel like I’m a kid who got caught stealing candy from the grocery store. The only reason I do it is this way my partner feels good and hopefully we can do it another time when I’m in the mood.

Tell me if you disagree, but, I believe since the beginning of time, women (and MAYBE), men have been faking orgasms. Even in the Garden of Eden, I believe that after a while, Eve was just plain tired from gathering nuts and berries all day. After that, she had to go home to the cave, cook Adam a sumptuous meal of nuts and berries, and then, she had to clean it all up after…Who WOULD be ready for sex after that?

All of a sudden, Adam gives her that strip off that leaf baby and lets make children look. Now Eve is thinking, Oh Man, NOT again. But, to please her man, and CREATE the Human race, she gives in.

 So…Adam is pumping away at it going “Grr, Azho, Blab“,(which means…WHO’S YOUR DADDY BABY), and Eve is thinking ARE WE DONE YET? Eve figures OK, if I fake it maybe he will just quit and I can go back to my TV program(oops…wrong century). Sooooo, in the interest of ending it, she lets out a major scream and says, “Babba Loo, Babba Loo, Which means (Great Job Baby, You’re the best). DUH!!!!!! He’s the ONLY man around sister, think about it.

After they are finished, Adam turns to Eve and says “*&^%$*&^” which means…Do ya wanna raise a little Cain later? Eve replies, “ ))((__())((( “ which means….If I am Abel….(Get it??? Cain and Abel). Ho boy…

Anyway, This goes on and on for centuries until we arrive at present day, Women faking it, Men loving it. So is life. I mean, what’s the harm in a little deception if no one gets hurt, right? So WHY do I feel so F***ing guilty then….Grrrrrr. Help me out here somebody PLEASE!!!!!! Ease my mind, tell me some lies…ANYTHING that makes me feel better about it…Am I the only one who does this or are there others? Let me hear from you, and tell YOUR stories.

That’s all I got for now, I’m going into the bedroom now and practice…YOU KNOW.

17 thoughts on “Shhhhhh…I Faked the Big “O”

  1. What are you afraid of loosing if he finds out, and why don’t you take the time to attract the kind of mate, that does create the emotional support for a blissful orgasm?! If anything, communicate to him just what your needs are. Men want to know what works for you, and when he finds out, he will repeat it again and again. Men want to please, I kid you not. Being one I can tell you this is true. However, I do know that a tough man will have a harder time at this, whereas with a gentle man, this will be easy.
    Blessings…

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    • Thank you for your comment. I certainly understand what you are saying. I think we women usually have to be handled a little longer before the big O occurs. Usually my partners are very considerate and take that time. Others, just want a quick romp in the sack and that’s it.

      I just don’t like hurting THEIR feelings because I might not always have my head in the game ya know?
      Muah!!!
      Sooz

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      • What about your feelings? Do you have to walk on egg shells because of their fragile ego, hell no! If they can’t handle it, then their not meant for you… it’s that simple. Are you looking for a healthy and balanced relationship, or are you going to settle for the classic dysfunctional BS that we’re all trained for?
        I’m a relationship consultant, and I’ve been blessed with a lifetime of meaningful relationships, and I don’t why everyone can’t have the same thing. I’m sorry, I don’t handle dysfunction very well. The clients that come to me are ready for change, so it’s easy to guide them out of the maze.
        May love’s bountiful bliss be along the path you follow.

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      • You don’t like hurting their feelings, because you believe ego when it says “your feelings don’t matter, only theirs do”. Ego is in our lives to teach us about illusion. Here’s the illusion: Men what to please, and they will do anything to learn what pleases you. You fake an orgasm, he learns about it, and the message he gets is “you don’t feel worthy of his true affection”. So he withdraws. He has then just proven your story [your inner story, that your not worthy] to be right, so you continue to feel that your feelings don’t matter, only his does. Say it was I that had this problem, would you want to be with a man that couldn’t stand in his power? Men want women that are righteous, he wants a woman who is truthful and honest, especially to the point of hurting him, because he will know you will have his back when it matters. And when you start standing in your power, you’ll start having more deep meaningful relationships, because you’ll then be attracting a different kind of person. I dare you to be different.

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  2. Yeah, I once faked an orgasm.
    Long story.
    Hey, if you aren’t there, you aren’t there. Doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun in the romp.
    And no reason not to let him know. If he can’t handle it, then who needs him. And if he can, he’ll just try that much harder next time! hehehe

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  3. Nope I would never fake an orgasm. You don’t get to think you achieved something for me if you didn’t. That said, my husband has super powers and I think in the 14 years together maybe I didn’t get there 2x.

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    • Well, in all fairness, there were times I was too drunk and just didn’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings. I USUALLY do Orgasm, I just really hurting my partners feelings. Sometimes my mind is NOT always in the game ya know???
      Muah!!!
      Sooz

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  4. I’ve fooled around with three women, sex with one, I’ve never had an orgasm. No one can do me like I can do me. Yes, I have faked an orgasm as well.

    I will say that if you fake orgasms you really shouldn’t be allowed to say someone sucks in bed. If you keep faking then they really don’t know what they’re doing right or wrong. Women are so hard to please that I’m surprised more men don’t give up.

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  5. Here’s an idea: Remember that orgasm IS NOT the be-all-end-all with sex. If you’re not into the moment, stop focusing on reaching orgasm. If you aren’t into the act at that moment, say so.

    I had two women tell me they fake an orgasm. The first I laughed at and told her she had simply wasted her time faking when she could have been enjoying herself (it was a break up arguement).

    The other woman, I got irritated with. It felt decietful. We had been dating for a while and I was in love with her. As I put it to her, “Why didn’t you simply tell me you weren’t in the mood at that time rather than lie about it? I would have been okay with not having sex and just holding you, or whatever else you may have had in mind.” Come to think of it, this was a breakup arguement too.

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  6. Why feel guilty? They’re the ones not getting you off? They should be feeling guilty! (After you admit it, if that’s what you want. Otherwise just tell your little guilt monster that it’s being silly.)

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  7. I’ve been drunk enough to get it up well, but not to (male equivalent) orgasm, a few times. In the past with old partners, I’ve had to actually fake it. These days, my wife takes full advantage of my inebriated state…

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