DMV’s Driver’s Tests-Are You Kidding Me?


When I was sixteen, like any other kid in America, I wanted to learn how to drive. Now, let’s be clear about something, in MY mind, I already KNEW how to drive. I just figured that the road test was something that the County’s required to make a buck. Little did I realize, they actually wanted you to KNOW how to drive.

Now, in all fairness to me, I THOUGHT I was a good driver ’cause I was driving my mothers Buick ALL the time…..Up and down the driveway. Who KNEW that they actually wanted you to practice taking the car out on the street.

Anyway, I would “borrow” my mothers car and have an older friend at the time take me out driving. We would drive all over… To the liquor store, picking up weed for her friend,and of course the drive in theater, and YES they still had drive in theaters back then.

I must tell you, she tried and tried to teach me to parallel park, BUT,I just never got the hang of it. Every time I tried, I was always about the distance of the Grand Canyon away from the curb. I figured…Are they REALLY gonna flunk me because I can’t parallel park? The answer is……YES!!!!! The very first time I took the test I couldn’t parallel park if my life depended on it. OK….I MAY have made a couple of other minor infractions also like making a left from the right hand lane and forgetting to use my turn signals, but hey…who Doesn’t forget that from time to time. Geeeese…..


The second time I was doing very well when a squirrel inadvertently decided that he wanted to cross the street without signaling me FIRST. Let me just say that it was NOT my fault that he got caught under the car wheels. HE wasn’t watching where he was running. Damn….Number two down the drain.

The third time, while trying to do my parallel parking fiasco, I turned the wheel just a “LITTLE” too much when I was cutting back in, and happened to hit the car I was parallel  parking next to. Now THAT was embarrassing. Ya know what……The third time was NOT the charm.

Finally, on the fourth try, Mrs. Jenkins and I, who were on a first name basis by now,  actually felt sorry for me. I did everything right this time and by the grace of God (and 50.00 bucks) guess what…I finally passed……YEA!!!!!!

This was an experience I will never forget….Although, I have tried repeatedly. So….if ya see me coming down the road someday ya better just get the HELL outta my way ’cause….I’m watching out for squirrels and I may not see you. You’ve been warned.

Until Later…




12 thoughts on “DMV’s Driver’s Tests-Are You Kidding Me?

  1. Ha! I also was failed my first time through. Not because I did anything wrong, but because the “Instructor” felt that everyone should fail the first time. Told me good luck next time. My Dad had to carry me out of the DMV because I went after the guy. 😦 Passed the second time with a female Instructor. And I got a phone number…. heh heh heh 🙂


  2. I walked in, saw the instructor. He was our surf life saving club manager. He’s seen me drive, reverse a row boat down a ramp, drive drunk people home in their cars while I was on learners permit… We sat out back for half hour chatting and he gave me licence.


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