Is 30 Mph Over REALLY Speeding

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OK, I admit it. I was going 30 mph over the speed limit on some country BACK road I was driving the other day. All they had on it were sweated up possums, cactus, and a whole lotta nothing’ except the armadillos lookin’ at me like a MEAL if I ever veered off the road.

Now, in all fairness, I do seem to have a lead foot. Well, maybe not really a lead foot, more like a big anvil or anchor  surgically attached there. Anyway, you get the point, I seem to have a “need for speed”. Just couldn’t resist that line.

So, I’m driving along this country rod( with the ridiculous speed limit ), and as I fly by, I see a cop pullin’ out of his little cubby hole with his lights a flashing like I was John Dillinger or something, and I KNEW that he was gonna pull me over and slap a ticket on me.

I have never been issued a speeding ticket before and this is WHY. As SOON as I saw him pull out and start to accelerate to GET me, I started turning the wheel a little bit left and right so it looked like I was drunk or something. I rolled my windows down on all sides, pulled the car over, and just started yelling at the top of my lungs… “BEES…BEES”. My arms were a flailin’ and I just kept on yelling.

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Guess what? There were NO BEES, it was just a ploy to get out of the ticket. The cop comes up with me still flailing my arms and screaming and I say… “I need to get out of here”.

Well, the cop opens the door and I (screaming) ask if I can get out. He says OK, so I get out and then the cop looks all around in my car for the KILLER BEES. “I guess it must have gone out the window when I was swattin’ at it officer”, I said in my sweetest and panicked voice. I made him feel like a Macho Man that day as I was his damsel in distress…NO TICKET.

I have done this on 4 separate occasions and EACH time they bought it. Hey, I’m not sayin’ it will work for YOU but HELL, What do you have to lose? Give it a try sometime and then let me know how you make out.

P.S. If This doesn’t work, show a little BOOB!!!!

Until Later…

6 thoughts on “Is 30 Mph Over REALLY Speeding

  1. Nice. I always get tickets. Last time when the occifer asked if I knew why he pulled me over, I said “Because you are a dick?” Instant ticket. Why does this always happen to me? I am always so cuddly and friendly….. 🙂

    Like

  2. Well played, Sooz.
    And as you seem to have found out, it’s only speeding if you get caught.

    I did once manage to have a speeding ticket written down from 78 in a 50 to 59 in a 50. Saved a bunch of money, and didn’t get my car impounded.

    Like

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