Funny Things To Say On a Birthday Card


It’s always nice to get a special Birthday wish so here are a few of mine I’ve WANTED to send…

Happy Birthday: I am enclosing a bag of Viagra so you can get laid  BEFORE your  next one.

Happy Birthday:  Wishing you all the happiness in the world… For the little time you have left.

Happy Birthday:  This IS your birthday right?

Happy Birthday:  Please find enclosed a dictionary…Now you can help you keep your AFFAIRS in alphabetical order. Ex. Alex,Alexander, Bill etc.

Happy Birthday:  To the woman who has a heart of Cold…I mean gold…

Happy Birthday:  Wishing you the best that LIFE has to offer…IN PRISON.

Happy Birthday:  To the man who has everything…well…except for health,money,and  friends. Enjoy your special day.

Happy Birthday:  May you live a long life… Longer than your expected Dr.’s prediction.

Happy Birthday:  May you “Live Long and Prosper”…God knows, it would be ABOUT TIME…

Happy Birthday,  To my hard assed,overbearing,and punitive father….Now…. make a wish and blow out your brains.

Until Later…

Note: Opinions here are not necessarily expressed by this author….Ohhh Hell, of course they are….No hate mail PLEASE… 🙂 



24 thoughts on “Funny Things To Say On a Birthday Card

  1. On some of these it just goes to show that you
    have a wicked mindset but guess what? I like that 🙂 lol

    Have a dark and ghoulis weekend
    with lashings of everything that you
    enjoy the most 😉

    Andro xxx


  2. Happy Birthday! I noticed you have been feeling mopey lately so I enclosed the busing schedules closest to you, for, well, you know….

    Happy Birthday! You suck and should be destroyed! Hope you have a happy day.

    Happy Birthday! Tell your mom and sister I said Hi! Oh, and your wife too! 🙂

    Just a couple that I would personally send. I may send out a few of your suggestions though, I know a few people like that.


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