Is Aunt Flo a Real Person

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I First heard this expression when I was about six years old. My mother was on the phone talking to a friend of hers and I heard her say: “Ya, it’s about that time, I think Aunt Flo is coming”.
 
Now understand, I DIDN’T have an aunt Flo so I really didn’t understand. I thought perhaps it was just a friend of my mom’s, ’cause I would always call ALL the adults she knew as either aunt this or uncle that. The other thing I noticed was, she DIDN’T seem very HAPPY to have Aunt Flo drop by for a visit.

So I got to thinkin’, (Six year old brain), Why for the love of God would you invite someone over that you really didn’t like very much? I went up to my mother afterwards and just asked: “Mom, who is Aunt Flo, and why did you invite her over if ya don’t even like her”?

WRONG question….BUZZZZZZZ……First, she burst out laughing, THEN, she proceeded to sit me down and explain…..Well…YOU know… to me so that a child would understand it. DIDN’T HAPPEN!!!

Later, when I was 12, I too unknowingly, had invited Aunt Flo over for a little visit. I was VERY naive and had NO idea what was happening. I remember I was in school and all of a sudden, I felt this gush, as if I was peeing my pants. I asked to go to the bathroom and when I dropped my panties, I noticed there was a reddish coloration in them. (Here is where all the guys that are reading this DROP OUT)…
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I was petrified…I took off my panties, threw them in the trash and then once back in class, I asked to go to the nurse. Ho Boy…The nurse was a 50ish. GUY who smelled like Bourbon. BUT…I had no choice, it was either talk to him, OR, think that I was dying of some sort of rare blood disease. I chose Bourbon breath.

He explained it to me in as nice a way as a 50ish. Bourbon smelling guy could, and, he let me go home, best part of my WHOLE day.

My mother was very understanding in her own drunken way and explained to me that THAT occurrence would happen once a month from then on. She explained how to use tampons,( Made me think of the Little Dutch Boy plugging up the dam), and said it was just a part of growing up into womanhood. WTF….Are you kidding me here???? We have to feel like there is a hot air balloon inside us, feel all crampy and have our hormones run rampant like Lemmings jumping into the Sea, ONCE A MONTH???

You know what the GUYS get??? NADDA!!!!!! I mean is THIS F**CKING fair??? Just because it was a woman who made Adam fall from grace, WE get ALL the BAD things happen to US??? Plus…Ya know what…ADAM was responsible too…He didn’t HAVE to take a bite of that apple. Ya know what, they never let us FORGET it either…Ohhh, She’s on the rag, It’s HER time of the month, SHE’s having her…YOU know, leave her ass alone. REALLY GUYS…SERIOUSLY???

All I’m sayin’ here is have a little sympathy guys, be understanding and don’t ridicule us. If ya do, then…Well….We might just overlook the way you dress and you just might get lucky more often…

Until Later
 

4 thoughts on “Is Aunt Flo a Real Person

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