Before I go any further, let me just say that YES, I AM going to be talking about our Nipples. I just LOVE saying that word…NIPPPPPLLLLES. Odd isn’t it how some folks shudder at that word? I never could figure out WHY, I mean we ALL have them, men AND women, so, why the uproar?
I have come here today ladies, and gentlemen, to talk about our Nipples as bargaining tools. Have you ever noticed ladies how men seem to DROOL on themselves when looking at our breasts? How many times has this happened to you, you NEED to make a serious point to a male counterpart, and they SEEM to be listening, BUT, when your finished they appear to have AMNESIA. WTF??????
WHY is this you ask, I’ll tell you why, they are LISTENING to our BREASTS. Am I WRONG ladies? Armed with this information, I have arrived at a conclusion, Men just want to get back to basics and suck our nipples. Sooooo, I have devised a plan here to see if in fact our Breasts/Nipples could be used as a bargaining chip.
I figure, if their NOT going to listen ANYWAY, let’s at least get something that WE want, and then, let them SATISFY their primal urge to suck us like bottles. So here is what you need to do.
First, think of something that you would either like him to do, OR, like him to BUY you. OK…Now here is the easy part. Just wear something LOW cut, like down to the Grand Canyon, OR something on top that is four sizes too small, where your nice firm Nipples are just sticking out at him.
Then in a sexy voice, say (Insert name here), for the sake of clarity, I’m going to use Waldo, Waldo, would you be a nice boy and paint the outside windows for me? Or, Waldo, (Stick the GIRLS), right in his face now, I just saw the cutest dress at the store today, would you mind if I bought it?
If you do this right ladies, he will be like Silly Putty in your hands. No offense here guys but it’s true, your sexual desire overrules your brain EACH and EVERY TIME. Now, the kicker is, you have to ACTUALLY play along, Then, AFTER you got what YOU want, let him get back to basics. Try it, you’ll like it. It REALLY works, trust me on this one. I’ll talk to you all soon…