Things NOT to Say On a Date

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As many who read me know, I have not been the luckiest person when it comes to dating. What I CAN tell you however are some things that you should never say to your date.

* Never say: “You look like a hippo in a thong”.  Even if it IS true it really dampens the mood.

* NEVER call his mother a whore. Again, even if she is one, keep it to yourself.

* If he asks you how many sexual experiences you’ve had, Never say “Hmmmm, more than a rabbit“, (Hint…always say ONE).

* Don’t mention how you would love to be married on the first date…or second….or third…Nuff said here.

* Never mention that his bell bottom jeans went out in the 60’s.

* Never say he dances like Fred Flintstone and offer to pay for some dance lessons…(BIG MISTAKE).

* Don’t mention how handsome he is if he looks like Fred Flintstone…It MAY lead to dancing.

* Never mention that eating chocolate was more exciting than his dinner conversation….EVER!!!!!

* If he asks to go back to your place after for a little nookie, tell him it’s your time of the month. ( Guaranteed you will NEVER hear from him again.

* Don’t ask how old he is ’cause you already KNOW the answer….Emotionally…5.

These are just a few I’ve found usually don’t lead to a second date. Now, that being said, “Anyone wanna date me”  ?????

Until Later…

11 thoughts on “Things NOT to Say On a Date

  1. I remember this hot bartender I met once. Everything was cool, and we were having an interesting conversation, until suddenly she decided to tell me – and all the other guys at the bar – all about how she’s been having serious problems with her period. She went into these long detailed descriptions of the type of liquids she’d been menstruating, and how thick they were and the smell and the color. Yeah, I sat through a bit of it as the other guys at the bar decided to leave, but after about ten minutes (and she would not get off this subject) I decided that “Venus” (that was her name) was not really my type. In retrospect, and given your post, I can’t help but wonder if this wasn’t a common tactic she used to dissuade men from pursuing her affections. It certainly worked.

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  2. You’re comment about being “on my period” made me laugh because of personal experience during my first date with my wife. We had met on Match.com (yes, it’s true) and had been conversing over the phone every evening for a few weeks before deciding to meet. When we did, it was total and complete magic. Literally, time stopped for us the moment we met for our date, which was in the parking lot of where she worked. Passion, desire, appreciation, connection — it was ALL there. Eventually, we went back to her apartment where I was prepared to stay on the couch out of respect. However, as things progressed, it was obvious the couch would be on its own for the night. That’s when she suddenly said with no small amount of disappointment, “This isn’t a good time for me.” I didn’t understand at first, then realized what she was eluding to. It didn’t stop us from having an amazing — though somewhat “limited” — evening together, and it didn’t matter. We’ve since made up for it 😉 A year later, when I asked her to marry me, it started with a rose and a note sent in to her cubicle while I waited outside in my tux. The note started with: “Is this a good time for you..?” That’s been our running joke ever since 🙂

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