A couple weekends ago my cousin asked me to baby sit. It had been a long time since her husband and her had been away so I said sure. Just to keep the record straight, she also has two dogs…Dumper, an 8 month old Great Dane…and Weasel, a two year old Chihuahua.
Her kids are younger so that have to be watched CONTINUALLY, I’m rethinking having kids. Anyway…I got up Saturday morning (As the rooster crows), I’m SERIOUS…It was STILL dark outside. I mean I’m just used to coming HOME at that hour. MY GOD….Don’t kids sleep late on the weekends like I do?
Feeding them a nice nourishing breakfast which consisted of candy coated cereal, chocolate milk and chocolate pop tarts, I settled in for the day ahead. Second guessing myself….I’m thinking this MAY NOT have been the best move on my part. An hour later, they were running, swinging on things like Tarzan, and they were using what my cousin says: “Their Outside Voices”…OK…They were screaming.
I turned my head for just ONE microsecond and I hear screaming, coming from the bathroom. I drop everything I’m doing, rush to the bathroom, (As I was afraid someone was being flushed down the toilet), and low and behold, here is my younger cousin with his hand in the toilet.
Politely reminding him that the toilet is NOT a swimming pool, and to please remove his hand from the water, he does. Once removed…Dumper decides HE is thirsty and immediately starts lapping up the toilet water. Now, this is a big dog, I mean a couple of Dumpers in the Grand Canyon and I can see why there is such a crevice there…They (the dogs) had to be thirsty. Nothin’ scarier than seein’ a Great Dane suckin’ a toilet bowl clean.
Asking the little guy why he was screaming, he said that G.I. Joe was on a training exercise and had inadvertently slipped into the toilet. Now…What I didn’t tell you is that after falling in…He FLUSHED IT… OYE ?!?
Soooo, here I am reaching into the toilet,(which was now devoid of any water), and proceeded to try and find G.I. Joe before he succumbs to a drowning tragedy. NOTHING!!! Now I’m a smart person so I get a brainiac idea… I’ll use a hanger. No way in HELL was I ever letting my cousin know that G.I. Joe was screwing up her plumbing.
To the closet I go searching and searching for anything BUT a plastic hanger. Finally, after about 15 minutes( seemed like an eternity), I finally find one and reshape it into the form of a grappling hook to snag the helpless action figure.
I bended, twisted, even cursed (OOPS), Until I was able to Grab hold of, and rescue G.I. Joe. Phew…I’m getting worn out just TELLIN’ this story.
Bottom line is, I got him out, let the dogs outside, and (watched Dumper pee for about an hour), and all returned to normalcy. Tell me…Are their any GOOD reasons to have kids…? 🙂