I am writing you early this year so you can get a head start on my present requests. I am a FIRM believer in you, and your Elves, and I am sure that you will get started on my list right away.
Last year I asked for a Special Rabbit Vibrator and when I opened my presents, I realized that I didn’t get it. I just figured you received my request late so I wanted to rectify that this year.
So, this year I am requesting it again and I feel sure that the Elves will get started on making this ASAP. Hell, I will even let you watch as I test it out if you like.
I would also like a DeLorean. I know, I know, there were only 9000 of them ever made but I BELIEVE in you and I am sure you WON’T disappointment me. You can park the Reindeer on the roof and I will be glad to take you for a spin if you like.
OK, the next one could be a little tricky BUT you DID do it for Natalie Wood’s mother in the movie Miracle on 34th. Street. I would love to find a nice guy with a HUGE sex drive to satisfy my Nymphomania, settle down, and pop out some kids. I know that if ANYONE can help me here it would be you. I realize that this is a tall order but at least I’ll have the Rabbit Vibrator if you can’t right?
One last thing Santa, I would Love for my new husband to make LOTS of money so I can just sit around the house, eat Bon Bons and drink like a fish. I know you will do what you can to satisfy all my requests. If you ARE able to fill my requests, instead of cookies and milk, I will greet you in a very sexy outfit and we can have a little fun.
Thanking you in advance for all your help.