How to Cheat at Poker

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OK…I know what you’re thinking, “Sue, what a terrible topic to write about; why would ANYONE wanna cheat at poker?” To that I say DUH…To WIN of course. Remember one thing, in order to succeed, not EVERYTHING in life is above board and all goodie two shoes.

 Sometimes, we have to be a little underhanded to achieve that success. Not that I PERSONALLY have done that of course, but, it happens.

Let’s just say for the sake of argument, and to make this a funnier piece, I DID cheat at Poker. How would I do it so that no one would know? First of all, don’t use any of these techniques in Vegas. With all the hidden cameras they have, they would find your sorry DUPA and put you away for life.

No, I’m referring to the simple old home game with friends. Usually you can bamboozle them each and every time. Shoot, they will think you have a rabbits foot up your Va Jay Jay, when all you really had there were a couple of extra cards.

I must tell you, being a woman; it is MUCH easier to CHEAT. Come into the game with a low cut dress on. This will help to distract the boys into watching your boobs and not your hands. If there are any women in the game, they will just be disgusted by the fact that you are looking slutty and again won’t be watching your hands.

Now for the play, always hide two cards where you have easy access to them. One would be a king, the other an Ace. These are always great hold cards in case you need an extra one for 3 of a kind or an ace high game.

The next trick is to deal off the bottom of the deck. Practice makes PERFECT here people. Why within just a few short days, you can pretty much give yourself WHATEVER hand you want, WITHOUT anyone knowing.

Next, make sure the booze is flowing. The more booze they intake, the easier it is for you to win. Keep refilling them as often as possible and you will have them right where you want them, in La La Land. The only drawback here is that they may ALL want to sleep with you…Even the WOMEN… In all honesty, I have NEVER had a problem with this. I mean, win some money, have some sex, what could be a better night of fun? I hope you have found this helpful. Now, who wants to play me a few hands of Poker? I prefer STRIP Poker… 🙂

Until Later…

 

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