Guys…You need some help in the art of picking up a woman so I’m gonna help ya. I’m writing this with the hope that I can put an end to all the silly lines you give us just so you can get into our pants. Now, I don’t profess to be a sex goddess, or pick up artist, BUT, as a woman who has a lot of girlfriends, this is what I have found that works for US.
No matter where you plan on picking us up, PLEASE don’t use a corny pick up line. First of all (for the most part) ,they don’t work, and second, they make you look like you’re about 14 years old. We like our men just a tad older (mentally) that’s all.
The most important thing you can do to impress us (without having a huge wallet stuffed with cash), is just BE YOURSELF. Seriously, it works…TRY it. We don’t care if you’re an Astronaut or a Hollywood movie producer,(But if you really ARE…go ahead and use the pick up line), we would be just as happy if you were say a PIG farmer, or a Ditch Digger, (Do they still have those jobs…Assuming you make good money doing this), just be YOURSELF.
We play along with your big and important act, BUT, it usually only takes just a couple of minutes before we catch on. It’s just that Female trait we all have ya know,…It’s called a BRAIN…
Next…Be confident. Don’t approach us if your not, ‘cause you’re gonna get your feelings crushed when we say we would rather eat GLASS than be with you. Take a couple of courses on self assuredness first, Then try again. We Love men who are confident and self assured. It helps our sense of security and it’s something many of us look for in a man.
Talk about US and OUR feelings. OK….I know many of you are not into talking about touchy feely stuff, but TRY it…I’m telling’ ya…It works guys. Again we feel like you really ARE concerned about us and how we feel and that makes us well…Let’s just say we wanna get to know you more intimately.
Last but not least are your listening skills. Again, I know you are the hunter types and this is something only used while listening for wild Buffalo, BUT, again, if you DO listen to us, you will show us that you indeed really care about what we’re saying. By doing this, and the other things talked about, almost any guy can become a pick up artist.
Now…Here’s the kicker, if you DO sleep with us, (And understand, we sleep with YOU because we really like you and have an emotional attachment), You better remember how to use the F**KING phone the next day or the next time we see you, we may inadvertently bump into you and CUT OFF YOUR BALLS. I meant that in the nicest possible way though.
There is nothing more rude than sleeping with us, getting all our hopes up of Marrying your ass, and then you don’t call us. I realize that at times WE want it just as much as you do but still, would it KILL ya to call us and say what a great time you had the night before? NOT that I’m saying this has EVER (God Forbid), happened to me. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
So…There you have it guys, use it wisely cause… We still know how to access your NETHER regions…Just Sayin’.