A 16 year old girl named Amy E-mailed me last week with a problem. USUALLY I write a humorous response, but I felt after reading her E-mail that it called for a serious response. My normal Just Ask Sooz column will return next week.
After reading one of your blogs indicating that you were Bisexual, I thought that I would write to you. I am 16 and I am a Lesbian. My life has been Hell. I am a Midwestern girl and live in the Bible belt.
My parents know that I am gay and both of them disapprove. They keep telling me that they want me to see a therapist. They believe that my “condition” can be changed through therapy. I’ve explained to them that it is the way I am and that I can’t be changed through any amount of therapy.
I am being ignored and or ridiculed for my behavior in school also. I have spoken to the school counselor but she just says lie low and things should just settle down. I am at my wits end and am contemplating suicide to just end all of the disappointment to my family and my “Wayward” lifestyle.
Do you have any words of wisdom for me to help me feel better about myself and my circumstance? I could really use your guidance here. Thanks.
First of all, don’t do ANTYHING rash. There is NOTHING wrong with you. I repeat; there is NOTHING wrong with YOU. I understand JUST how you are feeling. Growing up being Bisexual was very similar. It seemed as long as I went out with guys, I was alright. Once I started dating girls, like you, I was mocked and ostracized. My friends dwindled and I became a loner. I too went to the school counselor and was basically told the same thing. Like you, I too had considered suicide. My father had passed and my mother was a drunk so SHE didn’t really care or couldn’t give me ANY guidance. Luckily, my Aunt stepped in and set me up to see a counselor.
Through counseling, I was taught two things. One, that your sexual preferences in life are hard wired and there is nothing WRONG with that. Secondly, she suggested that it is the ABUSERS who are the people with small minds, and that unfortunately, I would experience small minded people everywhere. That helped me to boost my self-esteem. She made me realize that I was OK and NOT “UN-NORMAL”.
I would recommend that you DO get counseling and to have BOTH your parents go with you. The counselor should help them to be more understanding and more aware of what you are going through.
You have my E-mail and I want you to contact me ANYTIME with anything I can help you with. I wish you the best and know that you have just made a lifelong friend.