Etiquette Lessons about Female Body Parts

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I have come here today to talk about Boobs, Breasts, Knockers, Melons, oh and don’t forget MY favorite…TITS. I do this because I was in a grocery store last week and while I was searching for a melon, (No pun intended), well OK, maybe it was a little intended, a man was just STARING at my boobs.

Being the funny person that I AM, I went up to him, cupped my breasts and asked if he would like me to BAG them for him. He turned beat red, apologized, and said that he meant no harm I just had INCREDIBLE looking Boobs. Obviously the man has GREAT taste.

Truthfully, a lot of women would get all indignant here and say what a pig he was, but I just took it as a compliment. Hell, I can’t help what Nature provided for me. I think it’s a turn on when someone notices my attributes. I’m just setting the record straight here guys, if you wanna look, then look, but please, just do it a little more subtly.

I mean I will undoubtedly stare at your Penis or your ASS too, but USUALLY, I don’t point my finger at them either and go DAMN that guy has a fine piece of MAN ASS, or, look at the HONKER on that guy.

Subtlety is the KEY here guys. Catch a glimpse as I go by then do what you’re SUPPOSED to do, look down quickly BEFORE I make eye contact with you and then say under your breath, “EYE CARRUMBA”, “she has great looking TITS or an AMAZING looking ASS.”

OK, this was lesson number one. Lesson number two will be to teach you HOW to give us your “BEST” pick-up lines. Trust me here guys, these lines NEVER fail. Stay tuned.

Until Later…

 

24 thoughts on “Etiquette Lessons about Female Body Parts

  1. Am I the only one that would have said, yes ma’am you can? I wouldn’t have been embarrassed at all. It is like fine art, there to be admired and pondered for great lengths of time. heh heh heh

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  2. Pingback: BLAHS #3: Women with an Attitude–You Pick It. – The Millennium Conjectures(tm)

  3. Pingback: Essa Alroc – Undisputed (and slightly unethical) Winner of the BLAHS « Essa On Everything

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