Just Ask Sooz——Baby Edition—–


Dear Sooz:

I am writing you today, (Well OK, my MOTHER is doing the writing but I am telling her what to write), because I want to get your opinion on potty training.

My mom seems to think that I should be ready to start potty training, BUT, I don’t WANT to yet. I am certainly OK with just letting it ALL hang out in my diaper and then having someone ELSE change me.

Call me lazy I don’t care… Hey, I am only 14 months old and I say I am just too young. My mom keeps putting me on that cold ass God Forsaken potty thingy to pee or poop when all I wanna do is just load it up in my pants.

I mean COME ON here, all MY friends under 2 are still using the express diaper method, why can’t I??? What are YOUR thoughts on this?

Dapper Diaper Danny   (Say THAT 10 times fast)


Dear Dapper Diaper:

Tell your mom for me to just BACK TO F**K UP!!! A boy learns slower than girls so you are PERFECTLY right for dumping in your diapers. I don’t BLAME you for wanting someone ELSE to clean your ASS. I mean why should you get YOUR hands all dirty? That’s what moms and dads are there for Pete’s sake.

Hell, even now if I could poop myself or just take a leak in my panties and have someone ELSE to the dirty work I would. I’m with you 100% on this Danny, thanks for writing.


Dear Sooz:

 My name is Johnny and I am 2 ½ years old. I seem to have fallen hard for this older woman. She is 3 1/2 and I am just enamored with her. We play all the time together and she even SHARES her toys with me. I have never before met anyone like her. I really want to KISS her and tell her how I feel but I am shy and don’t know exactly how to go about such things. Can you help me?

Shy in Charlotte


Dear Shy:

Girls like to have confident men. We love it when you put your arms around us and tell us that we are the best thing since the rattle or our Ba Ba’s. I suggest you just go over to her, put your little lovin’ arms around her and give her a sweet kiss on the cheek.

Believe me my friend, after the kiss, this Babe is YOURS…Good luck and thanks for writing me.

6 thoughts on “Just Ask Sooz——Baby Edition—–

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