The Academy Awards Snoozer


Before I go any further here, let me just say that I am a HUGE movie buff. Yes, I will even see the foreign films. Now, with that being said, in MY opinion, the Academy Awards are BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRing…

Do I think people should get awards for what they do and be recognized by their peers, SURE? Do I think that it should be on TV for 3 ½ hours NO. I think we could pull the whole thing off in an hour show.

I mean do we REALLY have to get up there and thank God, His angels, friends of God, friends of the angels, your parents for having you, your Aunt Tildi once removed, etc. etc. etc.

Oh and what about all the boring awards like costume design, sound editing, cinematography, choreography, and all those other Ographys? Do they deserve awards, yes, do they deserve them on MY TV watching time, NO. I’m surprised they don’t give a freakin’ award to the guy who shuts the toilet seat back down after all the male stars pee. “ I’d like to thank Fred for being so fastidious for promptly returning the toilet seat back down to its seated position”…Seriously???

I say we leave all of these out of the program, what do YOU say? Just have the major awards ya know, actor, actress, supporting actors and actresses, best picture, director and of course the accounting speech. It just wouldn’t be the Oscars without the accountants who HOLD all the envelopes and keep them such a secret for so long. I just LONG for that part…Don’t YOU??? OK, this may have seemed a little sarcastic ‘cause IT WAS…

Anyway, you get the idea. Who’s with me here? I say we get out our pens, (Or computers), and write the Academy telling them that from now on we only want an HOUR show here. At least THAT way I won’t fall asleep during the show and MISS all the really important awards…Gheese…

Until Later…

10 thoughts on “The Academy Awards Snoozer

  1. I came up with a drinking game for the Oscars:

    Every time someone thanks god: Take a shot.
    Every time someone thanks their spouse/significant other: Take a shot.
    Every time someone says, “What are you wearing?” (I know, preshow, so what, it’s my game. Stay sober if you don’t like it): Shotgun a beer.
    Every time the camera pans to the guy everyone thought was gonna win: Take your neighbor’s shot.
    Every time they take a commercial break, the first to yell, “Fucking commercials!” gets to pick someone to take a shot.

    By this time, I was to drunk to come up with anything else. Someone yelled, I simultaneously pucked (stolen word) and shit myself. I then went to sleep in the tub. Waking with soaked clothes, pruny skin and in ice water is…interesting. 😀


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