Just Ask Sooz—Baby/Toddler Edition

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Dear Sooz:

I am having a friend write this as I can’t write yet. I am a 3 year old boy and am having anxiety problems, (My friend looked UP the word OK???) Here’s the problem, my little sister is one years old and is STILL getting fed from mommy’s breasts.

I don’t want to sound jealous, but I AM…Why does SHE still get to suck HER dinner from mommy’s soft breasts when I have to drink out of a GD SIPPY CUP?

I miss her breasts and I still wanna suck on them myself. I mean is there a CUTOFF age, two, two and a half, on your THIRD birthday? There SEEMS to be plenty of milk in them to go around for everybody, so why is she being so selfish? Can you help me here???

Un-breast fed Brat

 

Dear Un-breast fed:

Yes, while it is true that mommy MAY have enough milk for you both; YOU are perfectly capable of drinking milk in other ways. Your little sister is incapable of drinking any other way except maybe from a bottle. Your mommy is trying to show you that you are a BIG boy now and that you can do things for yourself.

Please be understanding here and don’t be such a GD BABY about the whole thing. I KNOW what you’re thinking, Mommy has TWO breasts, why can’t she cough up one for you. Sorry Charlie, your time has come and gone. SUCK it up (Out of your sippy cup), and give your FU**ING mother a break for God’s sake. Have a good day. Namaste…

 

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