Silly Warning Labels

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Digital Thermometer—Warning:  Do NOT operate heavy Machinery while using rectally. Thermometer may cause soreness of the anus if inserted improperly. Thermometer will NOT work without batteries. Change batteries if NO reading is given.

WII Game System—Warning:  Game will NOT operate if TV is NOT on. Do NOT play while drinking Heavily, Fighting may ensue and cause severe injury. Do NOT operate game while soaking your feet in water as this may cause possible injury or SEVERE DEATH.

Viagra–Warning:  Take ONLY as directed. Only ONE tablet at a time…DID you HEAR me? I said only ONE tablet at a time Bubba. If erection should last for more than 4 hours, CALL MORE HOOKERS, this should alleviate the BONER.

Aspirin—Warning:  Do NOT take if you have bleeding ulcers, severe abdominal pain, (Probably caused by those damn annoying severe bleeding ulcers), muscle spasms, hoof and mouth disease or severe rectal or mouth bleeding. You are SICK JACK-OFF…SEE a Dr.

Alcohol—Warning:  May cause severe drunkenness and contribute to lack of inhibitions, coordination, and good old common sense. May cause giddiness, the urge to dance on tables, form Conga Lines, the need to remove articles of clothing, sexual arousal, and PREGNANCY. Use sparingly…YEAH RIGHT…

Dog Crates—Warning:  Use ONLY as a sleeping space for your dog. Do NOT allow your children, your grandchildren, the neighbor’s kid, or any other child to play in this crate. People have been known to be visited by child protective services, the Police, or other Federal agencies if someone notices this is happening. Jail time is imminate. Just sayin’…

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

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