Hide the Pope in the Pizza


Seriously??? (Yes I KNOW that is a fragmented sentence, er word) How long does it TAKE to elect a freakin’ Pope? Plus, what is it with all this SMOKE Hoo Ha? Red smoke, black smoke, yellow smoke, Taupe. Blue smoke, green smoke, WHITE smoke POPE.

Let’s just pick a freakin’ Pope here people. Are they waiting for GOD to decide? Maybe He is busy and just hasn’t shown up yet to deliver His vote. Why for goodness sake do they have to be so damned secretive anyway?

Ya throw a few names in a hat, and you pick the one with the most votes, Batta Bing Batta Boom. No big Whoop… Why is this taking so long??? I overheard a heard Catholic saying, “So, are we free to do what EVER the HELL we want until we get a new Pope to rule us?” BZZZZZZZZZZZZ….Sorry, the Retired Pope will be the acting (FRAIL) Pope until SOMEONE is elected.

I say they should throw lay people in the mix for Pope. I’m Catholic, I’m a smart business woman, I could DO it… In fact, I have personally practiced wearing a HUGE ass hat on my head and turning my waving hand like Miss America so I could be well versed while I ride around in the 2 Billion Dollar Pope mobile.

Who’s WITH me here people??? Sooz for Pope, Sooz for Pope. I mean Latin isn’t a requirement any more IS it? As far as saying Mass, I’ll have one of the Cardinals fill in for me…I mean WHAT else does a POPE do anyway?

I can meet with heads of state, and shake hands with the BEST of them…Make up some religious Dogma…NO Problemo…See, I DO speak a little Latin, er, Italian. …Whatever…Maybe if I make a HUGE contribution in the collection plate they will consider me, what do you think?

I would choose the name Maria Antoinetta the 1st. See, I’m all ready…Give me a chance here people, you’ll LIKE my leadership, I PROMISE. 😉

Until later…

Damn…SPOILER alert…They JUST freakin’ ELECTED a new Pope. All my hard work for nothing…Sour Grapes…..Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

14 thoughts on “Hide the Pope in the Pizza

  1. Sorry, I’m not registered to vote in the random state in which you reside. I also already signed a petition once AND bought cookies from a co-worker’s daughter. I wish you well in your Popely endeavors. In spiritu sancti, ragu.


  2. Can we have tandem Poping? You and me Sooz, we could do it until we were too pooped to Pope. Like a tag team effort. Imagine the things we could do with our new found unlimited wealth and supply of concubines…err I mean Nuns. I say we protest the new Pope until they bring us aboard! 😀


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