Just Ask Sooz—Baby/Toddler Edition

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Dear Sooz:

I am barely 2 months old so my 8 year old sister is writing this for me. So, here’s the thing. My Mother keeps waking my tired ass up every two hours to feed me. Don’t get me wrong, I like sucking on her nice warm nipples and being fed, the only thing is, I am EXHAUSTED. I mean I have bags so bad under my eyes you could CARRY them.

Look…All I’m askin’ for is a little consideration once in a while. Let ME be the judge of when I want to eat. Hey…I have a pretty big mouth and can certainly let her KNOW when I’M ready. What can I do???

Sleepless in Seattle (I couldn’t resist)

 

Dear Sleepless:

It sounds like your mommy has forgotten what it’s like to be a “seasoned” mom. It sounds to me like she is being OVER protective of you and just wants to make sure you’re getting enough to eat. Either THAT or she isn’t “gettin’ any ACTION” herself and is using YOU as a go between to satisfy her OWN needs.

Try this…The next time she wakes you up, simply REFUSE to suck on her. Do whatever you can to let her KNOW that you are having NO MORE of this intolerable behavior. For example…POOP your pants, SLEEP on her, or even SCREAM bloody murder, BUT, for NO reason do you suck on those nipples.

I believe after a while she will become sooooo tired and disoriented that she will give into your demands and just let you feed at YOUR OWN discretion…Good Luck.

 

 

4 thoughts on “Just Ask Sooz—Baby/Toddler Edition

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