This is an embarrassing question but one that I need to ask. I am a 38 year old man and enjoy a fairly regular sex life. The problem is, I always have to initiate the love making through cajoling, begging, or getting her drunk first.
I feel like that I am the only one getting any pleasure out of our love making. I try to be romantic by cooking her candle lit dinners, or having a date night, or even starting with a message, but it seems like she is just going through the motions and isn’t really that emotionally involved.
Is there something more I could be doing? Do you think I am just a bad lover, is she just doing me a favor? Either way I am becoming very self-conscious and I am hesitant to ask for sex anymore. What can I do?
Lousy Lay Larry
Dear Lousy Lay:
Sounds lie she is just doing you a solid Bucko…Some women have what is called a Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. It is a physiological problem where they have very low libidos and thus lack a sex drive.
Most of the time however, the lack of a sex drive is brought about by problems of how she views her self image, tiredness, depression, or, she JUST ISN’T THAT IN TO YOU.
Try telling her that she is the most beautiful woman on Earth in your eyes, that she radiates beauty and poise in everything she does, and that she is a real turn on for you. Try helping out around the house like washing the dishes, vacuuming, or helping out with the kids (If you have any).
Show her that she is the axis around which your world revolves. This may indeed help with the problem and make her feel more sexy knowing that you feel that she is the sexiest woman alive.
If however, you try these things and still nothing seems to help, then I would recommend making an appointment with your Dr. and see if she can be helped physically through the use of drugs. There are many things on the market now which have been shown to boost a woman’s libido.
I wish you much luck with this and remember; she IS your world, treat her with the love and respect that she deserves. Good Luck…