What if Pigs COULD Fly


Today is Sunday, after a hard night of drinking on Friday and trying to cure the hangover with MORE alcohol on Saturday, Sunday is my day of rest. Oh SURE, I’ll still get drunk BUT, I will wait until AFTER I have slept in and had a good breakfast.

Let’s see, what’s my point here? Oh yeah, sometimes when drinking things become more plausible than it would when you’re sober. For example, I got to thinking last night, what if pigs COULD fly? I thought, how would we catch them so we could still have our ham and bacon for breakfast or our pork for Sunday dinners?   

Then I thought, thank GOD they DON’T fly, we would have to be dodging huge PIG TURDS from the sky. I know silly right, but, this is the kind of thing I THINK about when in an alcoholic haze.

Next, I thought about the old saying, It’s “Raining Cats and Dogs.” Yes I know how the saying really came about, but, once again, my mind wanders. That’s just ME, or MAYBE it’s the alcohol????? Anyway…I was thinking HOLY COW, people could really get hurt when it to rained from these huge animals falling from the sky. BUT…On a brighter side, can you imagine little kids, how excited they would get when it got cloudy outside? “Mom…Dad…” “ It’s gonna rain, could we catch a puppy or a kitty?”

I KNOW what you’re thinking here….”Sue, you’ve got to STOP drinking.” Yes I know I should, but then that would mean that I would have to live my life SOBER and perhaps not have these creative ideas anymore. I mean how many sober people out there would be able to think about these things in such a creative way. Just think about it.

Until Later…



4 thoughts on “What if Pigs COULD Fly

  1. There are two types of flying pig, Sooz: The one in the helicopter with the bright light that chased me down the street as I ran naked, illuminating me for everyone to see clearly last Friday night; & the one from the catapult in ’96. Me and a couple buddies got drunk and decided to see just how authentic the replica device was at the Renaissance Fair. That fecker squealed for a while, then when quiet. I wonder what happened to it…


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