Sooz’s Views on Cinco De Mayo

Once upon a time a long long ago, there lived a man named Juan Demayo. Now Juan lived in a very poor village in Puebla Mexico. He lived with his mother Juanita, dad Juarez, and his five sisters and three brothers. (They were a GOOD Catholic family).

Juan was always known as the cenizo (jinx) of the family. Whenever he was around, bad things always seemed to happen. Once, while playing football (Soccer) with his brothers, the ball hit a stick on the ground, it flew up, and hit his brother Tom on the head giving him a huge gash.

 Another time, he was in the kitchen helping his mother make enchiladas for dinner and he accidently pushed her into the stove. This caused her to burn herself and she had to seek medical attention. It just seemed like Juan couldn’t catch a break.

Then, there was the time in the bathroom when his “You Who” got caught in the zipper of his pants. All I’ll say here is that the problem was “Eventually” resolved.

These same things seemed to happen around ANYONE he was near. Once grown, Juan decided he would join the army. He wanted to see if joining the Army would change his luck. There had been a few skirmishes with the French recently and he felt it was his duty to help defend his country.

There had been rumors that the French Army would try and take over Juan’s home town. He was steadfast in doing whatever he could to help prevent that from happening. Even though the French had twice as many soldiers, Juan and his Mexican counterparts were determined to hold the city.

One day it happened, the French came to the city in force. Juan and his buddies dug in determined to outsmart the French. The armies met each other at dawn and started to advance towards each other. Juan out in front advanced and then all of a sudden, he disappeared from sight. It turned out that he had fallen into a HUGE sink hole.

Seeing this, the French troops just broke out laughing. They came to the sink hole and looked down into the pit to see if they could see Juan. They were laughing so hard that they didn’t realize that the remainder of the Mexican Army came from behind and surrounded them. The French had NO chance and surrendered.

This was such a HUGE victory for the Mexicans. Being stoked, they continued their resolve went on to win the war. Considering that Juan was the CAUSE of this otcome, the day was NAMED after him——-“Sink Hole Demayo”… Ohhhh COME ON…It was TOO funny…Gheese…

Until later…