How to GET a woman Drunk


  • Have her show UP at the bar
  • Tell her you want to buy her a drink or 10
  • BUY her those 10 drinks you promised
  • Tell her you’re a scientist in alcohol consumption. You are studying the # of shots needed before she is WILLING to have SEX with you.
  • Tell her you LIKE her BUT, she needs to “RELAX” some.
  • Explain that Long Island Iced Tea is JUST iced tea with a little extra flavoring.
  • Start her off drinking shots to special occasions like Flag Day, her birthday, St Patrick’s Day, MONDAY…
  • Bet her 5 Bucks she can’t drink 6 shots followed by chugging a pitcher of beer.
  • Remind her that Happy Hour was DESIGNED to get HAPPY. The more you drink, the HAPPIER you get.
  • Assure her that getting a nasty hangover the next day is just a myth fabricated by frustrated teetotalers.


Remember: Don’t drink and drive, do what I do, take a cab and then puke all over it…

8 thoughts on “How to GET a woman Drunk

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