How to GET a woman Drunk

• Have her show UP at the bar
• Tell her you want to buy her a drink or 10
• BUY her those 10 drinks you promised
• Tell her you’re a scientist in alcohol consumption. You are studying the # of shots needed before she is WILLING to have SEX with you.
• Tell her you LIKE her BUT, she needs to “RELAX” some.
• Explain that Long Island Iced Tea is JUST iced tea with a little extra flavoring.
• Start her off drinking shots to special occasions like Flag Day, her birthday, St Patrick’s Day, MONDAY…
• Bet her 5 Bucks she can’t drink 6 shots followed by chugging a pitcher of beer.
• Remind her that Happy Hour was DESIGNED to get HAPPY. The more you drink, the HAPPIER you get.
• Assure her that getting a nasty hangover the next day is just a myth fabricated by frustrated teetotalers.

 

Remember: Don’t drink and drive, do what I do, take a cab and then puke all over it…