1. Your husband hangs a sign on your bedroom door “Do NOT Disturb” when you get ready for bed.
2. He brings his drunken girlfriend home for dinner.
3. You hear a ticking noise under the hood of your car.
4. You start using your THONGS as slingshots aimed at his head.
5. He stays out all night, comes home smelling like cheap perfume, and using the excuse his NEW car broke down AGAIN for the 3rd. time this week.
6. He has to WORK late every night this week…He’s a LIFEGUARD…
7. His phone is password protected in 47 languages.
8. He goes to the JIM every day. WTF????
9. He hugs your dog and calls her CYNDI…Your dog’s name is ARFIE…
10. He plans a vacation in Vegas for the two of you…”THINK ABOUT IT”…:)