Just Ask Sooz

NO ONE UNDER 18 ADMITTED

Dear Sooz:

I am a 26 year old woman who is a little behind the times when it comes to sex. I’m not a Nun, don’t get me wrong, but I have only been with a couple of guys and it has always been in the missionary position.

Recently, my boyfriend of 6 months said he wanted to go “around the world” with me. I said “Great” when do we leave?  He proceeded to tell me that it was a sexual term and that he has always wanted to try it.

Now, I consider myself an adventurous gal when it comes to sex Sooz, so when I asked him what it was, I was a little shocked. I have never given a guy a blow job, and I certainly have not had any anal sex.

I told him that a blow job I was OK with trying, but as far as the anal sex, I was somewhat concerned. I mean, doesn’t that hurt like hell? Also, isn’t is dirty and just a breeding ground for a disease waiting to happen?

I want to please my man but I am having serious reservations about the anal sex thing. Please help me. What do you think I should do?

Concerned in Canada

 

Dear Concerned in Canada:

First of all, let me just say this, if your boyfriend LOVES you, he should be understanding relative to your concerns. As I have said in previous letters, not EVERYONE enjoys anal intercourse. It CAN be very painful depending how well lubed your anal cavity is and how well your boyfriend goes about it.

My suggestion, make sure you are well excited before you even try this. For me, I always like to have a few drinks to help ease me up a little bit. Then, lube up really well and have him SLOWLY insert Mr. Happy, WITH a condon, just a little bit at a time. If it hurts too much then have him discontinue immediately.

Remember, YOU are the one in control here. If you say STOP, then everything should stop. Who knows, you might just enjoy it. You won’t KNOW however unless you are willing to give it a try.

As for blow jobs, pretty much all men in MY experience enjoy them. This is one form of sex I recommend that ALL women learn and become proficient preforming. Practice makes perfect here, you can tell by the oooowwws and ahhhhhs if you are doing it right. If you know how to give a good blow job, he will be happy as a pig in mud and will come back time and again to see you. I hope this has helped.

 

 

Sexy Tuesday–Restless Nights–

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Night’s shadow masks the Day’s light as I rest my weary head.
Visions of a summer’s day flash before my heavy eyes.

I’m reminded of picnics past, and picnics still to come.
I’ engulfed by your smiling eyes, as they dance upon the corners of my wandering mind.

Hand in hand, we walk, embracing the laughter that touches my wanton heart.

The eyes of my graceful goddess sends comfort to my restless soul.

Sleep, oh precious sleep, why doth thou forsake me?

Rest thy head in comforts knowledge, as my love returns by week’s mark.

Be still thy beating heart, for if patience makes the heart grow stronger,
Then mine shall embrace loves passion as do boulders rest upon a statuesque mountainside.

I sleep now the restful sleep, as I dream about thy beauty in night’s embrace.
 

Wicked Wednesday—My First Threesome—

 

No One Under 18 Admitted—Sexually Explicit—

I still remember my first threesome as if it was yesterday. It was a Friday, I had just finished work and I was ready for some release. I hadn’t had any REAL action in a couple of weeks and every fiber of my being was just aching for some touch.

It was party time, I took out the bottle of Vodka I had in my drawer and poured myself a strong one. I had already made up my mind that tonight I was going to get laid.

Once back at my place, I showered, changed, and put on my sexiest Mini with a nice sexy thong and bra to match. A nice blouse with three buttons undone insured that my ensemble was complete for maximum sex appeal.

Hell, I was young, the night was young, and my body was ready. I poured another drink and patiently waited for the cab to take me to my favorite watering hole.

It was kind of slow when I arrived so I just went to the bar, ordered a Vodka and Cranberry and surveyed the place looking for eligible sex partners. There were a couple of boys playing pool so I took my drink, and headed for the table.

Placing my money on the table, I asked if I could have the next game with the winner. Each of them, trying to be unobtrusive, checked out my wares and I knew that the trap I set was working.

They were brothers, just in town for the weekend to visit relatives, and were out for a little fun. I introduced myself, smiled coyly, and picked up a pool stick. I played with the stick having my hand go up and down the cue like I was stroking a cock.

The one brother, Tom, smiled wickedly and I shot him back the same wicked smile. I had already decided that tonight, Tom would be caught in my web like the spider catches the fly.

Both brothers kept buying me drinks and watched intently as I bent over to make some of the shots. We talked, drank some more, and I was beginning to feel NO pain. Like a whore in heat, I brushed against them and let Tom give me a little love tap as I got up to go to the ladies room.

When I got back, Tom leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Would you like to have a threesome with my brother and I.” Those words were like butter to my ears. Drunkenly, I smiled and said…”Sure.” They called a cab and off we went.

Brother Paul was the shy one, but that changed when I unzipped his fly and started feeling his member. Tom sat there and watched as Paul started feeling my titties and fingering me. I could feel my wetness flow the more he touched my HOT Pussy.

I was in need, HE was in need, it didn’t take long for us BOTH to cum right there in the cab. We arrived at their hotel and I couldn’t WAIT for the fun to continue.

Clothes started flying everywhere, Tom pulled off my thong while Paul was sucking on my titties…I was DRUNK and HOT…I asked them if they would like to have me as a sandwich. Eagerly they agreed. I took some lubricant that I carry in my purse and had Tom lube my ass till you could have put a baseball bat up there.

Paul, lubed my twat and then we layed on the bed. Paul, kissing me, took his hard 8” dick and eased it into my wanting pussy. Tom, on my other side, took HIS cock and slowly put it in my ass. OMG…I was in fucking Heaven…In and out they stroked as I layed there feeling the pain, but also the immense pleasure.

I must have cum 5 or 6 times that night as the boys played me like a fine tuned instrument. These boys had DONE this before…Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh…I woke up the next morning, gave the boys my sincere thanks after I got them both off, and made my way back to my place.

The first experience you NEVER forget. I was alone once again, but, I was one satisfied and happy lady…

:To Be Continued:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:   

I need your advice. My next door neighbors who are in their 60’s are very nice people, but, they have an annoying habit. At night, they make love with their window shades up and their windows open.

I don’t want to sound like a prude Sooz, but these people are how shall I say it, somewhat off the charts. They undress in full view by the window and everything that God has given them is just hanging out.

Then, to make matters more sickening, they start fondling each other right there by that open window for anybody who walks by to see and hear. Sooz, I have to tell you, the noise they make while making love seems to just seep inside my bedroom window which gives my husband “ideas”.

I am embarrassed to walk up to them and tell then to close their blinds and windows but the incessant love making machines next door are like f**king rabbits. Every night it’s the same thing. Gosh, don’t these old timers ever sleep?

Monkey Sex Mayhem

 

Dear Monkey Sex:

First off, I wouldn’t have put the words OLD TIMERS in your letter. Now I will get THOUSANDS of letters from the more MATURE generation. Hell, AARP might even decide to jump on the bandwagon.

Anyway…Here’s the thing, as far as I know, what people do in their OWN house is THEIR business and should have no bearing on any legal proceedings. If you are so concerned, why don’t you send them an anonymous letter addressing the issues?

Here’s a thought, why don’t you close YOUR blinds and window? That would solve your problem right? Plus, it seems to me from the way you described it, you and your husband spend a LITTLE too much time watching your neighbors. Perhaps instead of watching THEM, you and your husband could play Mr. Happy meets Mrs. Who Ha…By doing this I believe you will have rectified your problem…Hope this helps you…

 

Wicked Wednesday–Sex, Suds, and Sooz–

Nymphomania is something I have had to deal with all my life. The clinical term I’ve heard for it is hyper=sexual disorder. For years I thought I was merely cursed with a higher than average sex drive that made me want to screw ANYTHING that moved.

I also learned early on that I was sexually interested in both men AND women. Funny….Heterosexuality is actually HARD for me to understand as is same sex for strictly Lesbianism or Homosexuality in men. I just assumed that EVERYBODY was like ME until I found out that *I* was the odd ball out.

Drinking beer, and lots of it, helped me come to grips with what my sexuality was. Drunk, I didn’t CARE if I was ridiculed or called a slut. I KNEW what I was, The alcohol just helped to mask the pain.

I NEED sex, I CRAVE it… My body is ALWAYS in a constant state of Horniness. Pick a day that you felt like you could go to a bar, take the first man or woman you see and F**K them all night long. If you can imagine that, That’s how I am 24/7.

Now, am I a drunken slut, YES…I am…Just don’t judge me. I am also a nice person who is creative and loves people…NOT THAT WAY….I KNOW that’s what you were thinking. Being a Nympho also has it’s setbacks though too. For example, it’s hard to carry on a relationship with someone that knows you wanna f**k anything that has two legs. You see, the problem is, almost everyone I’ve met can NOT keep up with my sexual needs. SERIOUSLY… I can’t blame THEM ‘cause it’s ME that has the want or NEED I should say.

I NEED to have my genitals touched, Usually, I TRY and be good and just masturbate myself 6-8 times a day. IT’S TRUE. Sometimes when I can no longer stand it, I’ll put on a mini with a fine see through blouse and wear either a sexy black or red laced bra. I have the panties or thong to match of course.

Attracting men is a snap. Being attractive, I never have a problem with them buying me a drink or ten. When the time is right, I will go to the ladies room. Usually, by this time I am already wet and a little drunk, I make sure my panties are wet by feeling my twat while my panties are still on.

Then, I take off my panties, put them in my purse or clutch bag and HAND them discreetly to the man that’s buying me the drinks. Works EVERY time. Once he gets my wet panties, within an hour we are back to my place doing the horizontal mambo…To be continued next Wednesday…

Wicked Wednesdays

 

I’ve been think about starting a recurring blog on Wednesday about the sexual pleasures and delights of us poor lowly Human beings. If you LIKE the idea, let me know by responding. If I get enough Yesses…I will do it…If NOT, I will drop it like a hot potato. I would like at least 50 Yes replies before I will do the piece…

It’s ALL in YOUR hands now people…

Sooz

Giggle Time–Jokes For The Week–

 
MONDAY
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was
concerned that her daughter was having sex.

Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the
family’s status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very wilful and any
attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then
told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and
until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother
told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to
hug her mother, saying,

‘Oh Mom! You don’t have to worry about that! I’m dating Susan!’

 
 
TUESDAY
A man went to church one day and afterward
he stopped to shake the preacher’s hand.
He said, ‘Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a
damned fine sermon. Damned good!’

The preacher said,

‘Thank you sir, but I’d rather you didn’t use profanity.’

The man said, ‘I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five
thousand dollars in the offering plate!’

The preacher said, ‘No Shit?’

 
 
WEDNESDAY
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, ‘Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.’

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a
large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

‘Gee, Mom,’ he exclaimed. ‘For me?’

‘Just take two,’ Brenda replied. ‘The rest are for your father.’

 
 
THURSDAY
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from
Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman..

She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly.

Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her defence.
‘Your Honour,’ she began coolly, ‘I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.’
 
 
FRIDAY
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa .
‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realises the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of
all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old
man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said,
‘Wedding Cake.’
 
 
SATURDAY
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, ‘Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?’
Bob replies, ‘Girlfriend? She’s my wife!’
They are knocked over, but continue to ask.’So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?’

‘I lied about my age’, Bob replies.

‘What, did you tell her you were only 50?’
Bob smiles and says, ‘No, I told her I was 90.’
 
 
SUNDAY
Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland.
As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through
the process of cheese making, explaining that goat’s milk was used.
She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
‘These’ she explained, ‘Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.’
She then asked, ‘What do you do in America with your old goats?’
A spry old gentleman answered,’ They send us on bus tours!
 

Sexy Tuesday Poetry

 

 

The winds of love blow heavy upon my wanton soul.

My breast fills from thy loving warmth,
And my heart aches for thy embrace.

Touch, a sensation which starts the bloodiest of wars,
Yet, soothes the savage beast.

Thy love has touched my soul and satisfied it’s burden.

Speak not of unrequited feelings,
For those have been dashed by Cupid’s arrow.

May the Heavens open, and the birds sing,
As my heart doth take to flight.

Receive my soul, and embrace my heart,
For, eternity’s reign, my spirit becomes thine.