Rejection Letter

I was just sittin’ here today; having a few drinks, and I had a thought: What if the great writers of famous books had their stories rejected? Hey…It Coulda happened.

As an example, let’s take Theodore Geisel (AKA Dr. Seuss), and his book  How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The rejection letter MAY have gone something like this.

Dear Mr. Geisel:

After reading your book, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, I am afraid that we here at Bozo Books Publishing would NOT be interested in publishing your story.

Come COME my good man, a story about a Monster who steals all the presents from little people named WHOS… Are you SERIOUS??? You would scare the BEJESUS out of any rug rat who ever read it, OR has it read to them.

 We can see harmful potential to the little ones. NO…I am NOT referring to those mythical ever happy WHO people, I am referring to our children, who may have severe NIGHTMARES, thus leading to PTSD and costly litigation.

Not only was this a very bad story line, BUT, you are ALSO degrading the poor little dog by dressing him up in a Reindeer outfit, and  THEN, fitting him with antlers. We would be LUCKY if the SPCA and PETA didn’t start crawling up our ASSES. You should be ashamed of yourself Ted.

Please note that we will NOT be accepting any further writings from you so you need NOT apply. As you of a writer we think, your work is mundane and you stink.

Respectfully yours,

Bill Bozo

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