Just Ask Sooz

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have a question that probably plagues a lot of women who are afraid to ask.  My boyfriend continually wakes me up at 4 AM and starts rubbing his “YOU KNOW” on my ass. This is followed by him stroking my breasts and then asking, “Are you awake baby?”

Seriously? It’s fucking 4AM…I am sleeping numb nuts. Don’t get me wrong Sooz, I love him to bits but, at 4 AM all I wanna do is sleep. I don’t want to dissuade him from sex but at this hour, I need my beauty sleep. What would you suggest I do?

Early Riser

 

Dear Early Riser:

I feel for you ‘cause I once had a man who did the exact same thing. Now remember, *I* am a Nympho who LOVES sex, BUT, at 4 AM, I am usually drunk and NEED my sleep to RECOVER.

Here’s what I did…I just sat him down and said….LOOK Mr. MAN…When I said I like sex 24/7, it was really more like 20/7. At 4 AM, I don’t want to be feeling Mr. Happy up my Cooochy. I LOVE and RESPECT Mr. Happy’s needs, But, at 4 AM…I need to be ASLEEP baby….

Then I said, “ If you can’t respect this boundary, then I suggest you take your fishin’ pole and find ANOTHER drunken fish to hook. After THAT talk….I slept like a baby….

Have the talk baby, if he respects and loves you, he will honor this request. If he doesn’t, then send him to a DIFFERENT fishing hole….Good luck…