Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:   

I need your advice. My next door neighbors who are in their 60’s are very nice people, but, they have an annoying habit. At night, they make love with their window shades up and their windows open.

I don’t want to sound like a prude Sooz, but these people are how shall I say it, somewhat off the charts. They undress in full view by the window and everything that God has given them is just hanging out.

Then, to make matters more sickening, they start fondling each other right there by that open window for anybody who walks by to see and hear. Sooz, I have to tell you, the noise they make while making love seems to just seep inside my bedroom window which gives my husband “ideas”.

I am embarrassed to walk up to them and tell then to close their blinds and windows but the incessant love making machines next door are like f**king rabbits. Every night it’s the same thing. Gosh, don’t these old timers ever sleep?

Monkey Sex Mayhem

 

Dear Monkey Sex:

First off, I wouldn’t have put the words OLD TIMERS in your letter. Now I will get THOUSANDS of letters from the more MATURE generation. Hell, AARP might even decide to jump on the bandwagon.

Anyway…Here’s the thing, as far as I know, what people do in their OWN house is THEIR business and should have no bearing on any legal proceedings. If you are so concerned, why don’t you send them an anonymous letter addressing the issues?

Here’s a thought, why don’t you close YOUR blinds and window? That would solve your problem right? Plus, it seems to me from the way you described it, you and your husband spend a LITTLE too much time watching your neighbors. Perhaps instead of watching THEM, you and your husband could play Mr. Happy meets Mrs. Who Ha…By doing this I believe you will have rectified your problem…Hope this helps you…

 

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