Just Ask Sooz

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Dear Sooz:

I read your column every week but I have a question. Why is it that almost every letter you post is about some kind of sexual problem? I mean sometimes they are funny but a lot of time they are just crude, rude, or unattractive to be put into an advice column.

Don’t people ever have other problems you can solve? What about children problems or smoking in the house type of problems? I am just so tired of reading your letters which constantly seem to have sexual material in them, how about a few non sexual pieces of advice for a change.

Frustrated Fan

 

Dear Frustrated Fan:

I WRITE them because they ARE the number ONE type of letters that I get. Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate your loyalty and I am GLAD that everything seems to be going well in YOUR relationship; the sad truth IS however, many folks don’t share the same over the moon feelings in their sexual life as you.

Oh sure, I could write about someone’s husband sneaking a cigarette INSIDE the house or advise about barking dogs, BUT…Let’s be frank here, they would be BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING…

Tell you what…You write me with something OTHER than a sexual problem and I will get it just as soon as the SUN DIES OUT. Look…I write these to try and help people, MOST people just don’t give a rat’s ass if Uncle Harry has smelly bowels or farts in the house 24/7.

OK….OK…Since you are a valued fan I will TRY and find a letter with some MUNDANE problem and give it my expert advice. I thank you for writing and hope tht your sexual well-being CONTINUES along a steady course. If it DOESN’T…I am here…Just Ask Sooz…Good Day to you…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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