10 College Courses That SHOULD Be Offered

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10. How to make love CORRECTLY to BOTH Sexes—Finally…A course that teaches us how to make love to BOTH sexes with a little zest. No more just, “Touch me here, owww, feel this a little harder, ahhh, or just squeeze my ass till I cum.” In this class we will learn the in’s, the out’s and the sideways of Sex that will make the Kama Sutra look like The Cat in the Hat. Oh come on….You KNOW you want this…Smile…

 9. How to WIN an argument no matter WHAT the disagreement—The simple and effective way to win ANY argument. Class teaches you yelling and screaming techniques, threatening hand gestures, and also how to use everyday items like shoes, belts or pantyhose as weapons to help aid your cause.

 8. Marriage Rules—Simple everyday rules that apply to married folk. Examples: No spending money like the world will end tomorrow; No “COVETING” thy neighbor’s ANYTHING while thy spouse is around; Never go to bed angry UNLESS your spouse REALLY pisses you off…ETC…This is a MUST HAVE class…

 7. How to drunk text somebody and get AWAY with it—This is one I NEED to take MYSELF…See you in class…

 6. Tricks on how to remember things the next day when drunk the night before—Of COURSE you’ve done it, don’t even TRY it. This class will give you many tips like… Tell a friend the night before to call you the next day, tips on how to convince your friends that you have an identical twin, and other such things. I actually wrote the syllabus for this class.

 5. Legitimate sounding excuses for not coming to work—Again, THIS one I wrote. I will actually be teaching this course. Book early as they will fill up immediately.

 4. How to WIN friends and Influence POLICE Officers—This is a good one when you are stopped by the long arm of the law and need to get away without a ticket. Course includes “get away with it lines”; how to show just the RIGHT amount of Boob or Penis, and the STUTTERING method that works EVERY TIME.

 3. How to DUMP someone WITHOUT them stalking you afterwards—Both guys AND girls will need this course. Why break up with your significant other just to have them follow you around and possibly kidnap you? Learn the tricks of the trade and be CRAZY free.

 2. How to FART at a party or other gathering and blame it on someone else—A MUST know technique for anyone who wants to lead a rich and fulfilling SOCIAL life.

 1. How to sleep with as many people as you want and NOT get looked at like a slut or womanizer—Once again I am TEACHING this course and it is VERY worthwhile. Again, I suggest you sign up early as these classes tend to book quickly and offer a “FUN” reward just for class participation…

Until Later…

2 thoughts on “10 College Courses That SHOULD Be Offered

  1. Sign me up on how to remember things from the night before. I hope this isn’t the arm trick. I don’t want a lot of text running down my arm. My wife notices that type of shit, you know, and she reads it. “You said you were the CEO of a corporation to WHO!?” No, no, that’s just a reminder to CONTACT said CEO for a possible job. Jeez.

    Like

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