I am writing to you today because I have no where else to turn. Both Dear Abby and Ann Landers have passed to the great Barmitzvah in the sky so , guess what, you’re it.
I am a 33 year old woman who has been married for over 10 years and I need your help. My husband, (Let’s call him Harry), even though his name is Irving, is a loving husband but he has one small problem, his DICK
No, no, don’t get me wrong, his dick is not SMALL small , it’s just very difficult to bring to attention if ya know what I mean.
I have tried EVERYTHING from massage therapy to BJ’s and NOTHING I seem to try will get Harry’s dick any better than semi hard. Hell, I have even thought about using a flute and CHARMING the freakin’ thing like a snake if it would help. Any suggestions.
Dear Frustrated Fanny:
Your husband has something which sounds like a very common problem. We skilled sex therapists call it…Limpus Dickus. OK…I’m kidding here, but, it really isn’t funny.
There are a couple possible quicker “picker uppers.” The first is have him see a Dr. and find out if there is any physical reason for his “weak-end” performance…Sorry, I just couldn’t resist here.
If not, the Dr. may prescribe Viagra or penile injections to help “straighten out” his “flailing sail.”
Usually, if there is no outside stress in the marriage this should improve his performance immediately. I wish you much luck with this as I realize it can be very frustrating for BOTH of you. Again, sorry about the penis jokes, I just couldn’t help myself. Good Luck.