It’s been a long day. As I write this, I am totally consumed in the grip of alcohol’s hold. My eyes once sharp and clear are now heavy and reddened from my poisons addiction. My speech is slurred; my body weaves as I go to the bar to refill my drink, and I am sexually excited, in other words, I’m DRUNK again.
When will I ever learn? Why can’t I STOP this continuous life snatching behavior? I SWORE this morning when I took those first couple of shots that I was only doing it to help get rid of the previous night’s hangover. I would be fine then. I could go to work, do my job, come home, and then just read and relax. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was OK until lunch, and then my downward spiral began. Lunch with clients consisted of a salad, soup, bread and of course I just HAD to top it off with 3 martinis. This began my downfall. I arrived back at work buzzed but happy. I felt as if I could conquer the world. I ran a meeting and no one seemed to notice that I was buzzed so I felt pretty happy about that. It seemed as though I held my own fairly well.
Well…THAT called for a little celebration so I opened my drawer, took out the bottle of Vodka I keep there and poured myself a two finger drink. I just needed a little pick me up before the day was over, no harm in THAT right? Finally, the day was over and I had my driver bring me home.
I opened my mail, checked my messages, and THEN, headed for my bar. I felt like I had a pretty good day today so I figured I would have a little liabation. I poured myself a Vodka and Cranberry juice, (My favorite drink), opened up my computer and got caught up on what was happening in today’s world.
The night went on diary and so has the drinking. I have just finished writing today’s entry and thank God because the room is starting to spin. I think I will go to the bedroom while I can, I HATE waking up on the floor. OMG…This has been a complete disaster writing this. Thank God for spell check and the keyboard dictionary. Hopefully tomorrow will be better but my hope is quickly waning. Thanks for listening diary, at least YOU understand me…Goodnight.