Just Ask Sooz


This was an actual letter I received a while back and I was wondering if I should print it. Then, I decided …What to Hell…Go ahead, enjoy…

Dear Sooz:

I understand that you are of Irish descent so I just thought I would run this by you. I believe I may be a Leprechaun. I know, I know, don’t laugh but it’s true. I grew up in an orphanage, am only 4’ 2” tall, and I seem to have some super powers.

I can predict the future and have always had a yen for playing practical jokes on people. I have always wanted to dress in funny Leprechaun clothes and for Halloween, as a kid, I would always dress up as one.

As it turns out, I am also very musical. I play the fiddle, tin whistle, and also the Irish Harp. Did I mention I like to drink? Oh yeah, there isn’t enough Irish whiskey around that can keep me satisfied. Do you think it’s POSSIBLE that I could be one of the little people?

Name withheld for obvious reasons


Dear name withheld for obvious reasons:

While you do display many of the beliefs that people associate with Leprechauns, I believe it is probably more of the effects of the Irish whiskey you drink. I TOO will SEE Leprechauns after one too many Irish sodas.

The fact that you are of smaller build only means you could be a little person, and NO…Not the kind who has gold buried somewhere and then gives out three wishes if caught by us mortals.

IF, on the other hand you ARE a Leprechaun, I would be more than happy to discuss this matter with you in PERSON. Don’t be silly, I am NOT trying to capture you so I can get your gold silly; I just need to talk and give you some more advice.

Bring over your fiddle and we can open a bottle of my finest Irish whiskey and  jam…I would say more but since you already know the future I understand that won’t be necessary. Talk to you soon…

Irish Sooz

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