1. Telling them you can’t remove your hat for MEDICAL reasons
2. Saying that you left your passport in your “other” flack jacket
3. Swearing there was only 3oz of C-4 and NOT 4
4. Explaining that your 10 ” Bowie knife with you was just an oversight
5. Asking the TSA agent for the time….In Leboneze….
6. You’re mearly holding the AKA 47 for a friend
7. Asking if the in flight movie can be translated to Arabic
8. Walking through airport security with a turban and a GOAT in tow
9. You approach the TSA desk with your hands up
10. You explain to the TSA agent that the alcohol on your breath is because you were drinking Malatov Cocktails.