How to Become a Successful Blogger…Plus Boobs

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Sooo…You wanna be a blogger eh??? Well, THAT is why I am here to help you out. Successful blogging really isn’t about the WRITING; it’s about GETTING the people TO your blog.

For example, pick a topic that will either INFURIATE the general public like: “Why I Shot My Neighbor’s Dog After it Took a Dump in My Yard”, OR, Use Sex…Yup…Sex sells. Seriously, just Title your post with ANYTHING that has to do with Boobs, Asses, or possibly screwing your neighbor’s COW, and it will become a great hit.

Comments, you MUST reply to each and every comment on your blog. If you don’t return the comments, those that DID comment will say F**K YOU and move on to read someone’s blog who WILL comment. Use humor in your replies, this helps let the reader know that you enjoyed their comment.

People often ask me…”Sooz, what about the CONTENT of the blog?” To that I say, if you have a great subject line and post a few pictures of Boobs and Asses, there is really no NEED to be a brilliant writer. Look at ME, for example, a good 60 % of my blogs are about Boobs, Asses, and who’s sleeping with whose COW.

Another thing that will help in your blogging career, get LOT’’S of friends. Solicit for friends. For example, let it be known that you are going for 100 friends as quickly as possible, and, you will accept ANYONE, EVEN if they are Deaf, Dumb, or Crazy. Let it be known that each person who friends you must write at least 10 comments on each and every one of your blogs. THAT way, people will THINK you are popular even if you live in a van down by the river (SATURDAY NIGHT reference)…

Finally, there is the ever important F5 key. This is VERY important because the more you USE it, the greater the number of hits it will show on your blog. Hell, you could just write the word F**K Me, and if the F5 key is pressed enough, AND each friend lists ten comments, you will be a successful blogger.

I hope this has helped you, now, go out there and get ‘em tigers…

Until Later…

 

 

8 thoughts on “How to Become a Successful Blogger…Plus Boobs

  1. If the “A drunken, seductive, Bi sexual, Nymphomaniac CEO” ever stops working out for you, I’m sure you could make a killing doing seminars on increasing your web traffic! Your advice is solid gold!

    So, whose sleeping with whose cow today?

    Like

      • Well don’t start nouthin’ till you’ve done the guest post for my blog! (Unless the project involves you kidnapping me and making me your sex slave. You’ve got the go ahead on that project.)

        Ha! Serves him right! I bet that’s the sexiest cow fucking anyone would ever see!

        Like

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