How to Cheat at Monopoly



Let me start out by saying that I absolutely HATE to lose. Am I a bad sport…NO…I will just have to get EVEN with you at a later time. This is a HUMOR post people so let me just say, whatever I write here doesn’t mean that’s what I actually DO…( Or does it)???


So last week, I had a few friends over to the house who are all game players like myself. I suggested we play Monopoly as it is one of my favorite board games. Everyone agreed and I told them I was gonna change and be right back.


You see, part of my  strategy is to have them stare at ME and not concentrate so much on what the hell their doing. So, I came back in with a revealing halter top and some skin tight Jeans… Ya gotta love those see through halters…


The stage was set now as I immediately grabbed the bank and started handing out the money. This is another one of my strategies, always be the banker. You never know when you MIGHT need a Bank (ERROR) in YOUR favor.


The second thing I always do is make sure the booze is flowing. If they get to tipsy to drive, they can always stay in MY room…I MEAN at MY house. This not only helps to liven up the game, but it also assures that they may just not COUNT all the change the banker gives them.


I’m a shrewd business woman so I will do what EVER it takes, whine, beg, plead, or just show some boob to get the properties I want. I always go for the green and the orange properties. I would gladly trade Boardwalk and or Park Place for those two monopolies. You know why, statistically, these are the two monopolies that are most frequently landed on. Board Walk and Park Place, not so much.


So this is how it’s done folks. I don’t ALWAYS win, but then, if I DON’T, it’s usually because I myself have been compromised by good looking men/women or have had too much alcohol…So come on, play me, see how well you do against me. I’ll be waiting…


Until Later…



4 thoughts on “How to Cheat at Monopoly

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