Since I was a child I remember people saying things that I thought were either stupid, ambiguous, or Did I ALREADY say STUPID??? I’m kinda of in a crazy mood today so please excuse what you are about to read. The opinions expressed here are from my EVIL twin and do NOT, (necessarily), portray how the “GOOD” me, (YES!!! There IS one), really feels.
“You’re barn DOOR is open”…Seriously??? What the F**K does that even MEAN anyway??? Does that mean that you are considered a BARN and somewhere on your person you left the door open??? Or…Do you actually HAVE a barn and you left it open by mistake?
Of course we all know what it really means, but, why can’t we just come out and SAY it, like…”Hey Bucko…Your zipper is open and your DICK is hanging out, put it back in your pants before you start attracting flies.”
Another one that has always bothered me is, “Think before you speak.” DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK….OK… I realize that every once in a WHILE, someone just MIGHT say something that they didn’t think about first. Case in point…”Your mother wears Army boots.” What I always thought was funny about that is what IF the person’s mother really DID wear Army boots…Then what? You would have to come back with another quick one like, “Yeah well…She wears them on the wrong FEET!!!”
Look, I know we all speak out of turn sometimes, but do we really need a SAYING that reminds us to do this? I mean for the MOST part give us some freakin’ credit, I’m sure we USUALLY think before we just blabber off whatever happens to be in our heads at the time.
There are many of these sayings that bother me but the one that REALLY BOTHERS me on is this one, “Stick and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt me”. WHAT??? Physically no, but mentally sometimes being called things by people, (Especially your parents), may just scar you for life.
Come on here people…. Going forward, let’s just “Think before you speak, don’t worry about all those sticks and stones and oh…Your barn door is open”.