So here I was in rehab. gettin’ better… Puking, shaking so bad I was creating 4.2 earthquakes, hallucinations, and fever, Yuuup….I was definitely gettin’ better.
I may have exaggerated a little bit here, the earthquakes I created may have only been 3.2 on the Richter scale. At any rate, my body was slowly getting rid of the poisons that had haunted it for years. I was becoming free, free from my master, alcohol.
Slowly the shakes lessened, the fever subsided, and my mind began to clear. It was at THIS stage that I took an oath, never again would I become a slave to drink. Never again would I permit myself to be deluded into thinking that I could just have one. I was, am, and always WILL be an alcoholic, and as such, I must remain dry.
The intense therapy was really an eye opener. Day after day I would go to both group and then private sessions, spilling my guts, and slowly finding out exactly WHY I thought I needed to drink. I realized through psycho therapy, that I was using alcohol as a crutch to be the person I wanted to be, confident, strong willed, and easily sociable with people.
I was made to understand that I always HAD these traits and abilities and that I didn’t NEED alcohol to conduct myself accordingly. Wow!!! It was a real eye opener for me when I finally realized that I COULD be this person WITHOUT the added crutch. Self realization is a POWERFUL thing.
Today, as I write this, I am glad that I had a friend who leaned, no, PUSHED me into making this decision. If it hadn’t been for her, I may STILL be out there on the same destructive path I had been on for some time. Becca…You KNOW me better than anyone else here, and if not for you, I may have wound up losing my job, my home, and my self respect. I am FOREVER in your debt.
To everyone ELSE here who has supported me, encouraged me, and have just been there to say “Well Done Sooz”, I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are all my FAMILY, I respect you, and I appreciate each and everyone of you.
OK…No more straight stuff for a while now, let’s get to the levity. May the Deity of your choice, Bless, and guide you all, and may the future bring happiness and prosperity for you, and your loved ones.