How Stupid is This

 

 

 

 

The other night I was home watching 48 Hours on Television and I must admit, I was shocked and appalled by the end of the show. These are shows that usually involve a murder where they develop the story to tell you “who” did it, and “IF” they were convicted.

In this show, there was a beautiful couple involved. They had been married for 20 years and FINALLY the wife decided to divorce her husband, JUST because he had had SEVERAL affairs. GO FIGURE, RIGHT??????

As the show developed, it tells how the couple divorced and that they supposedly STILL had an amicable relationship between them. This didn’t seem to last long, however, as the wife was MURDERED.

Usually, in these stories, it’s always the HUSBAND who does itDUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, they bring the husband in for questioning, and GUESS WHAT, he says he didn’t do it. He said that at the time of the murder he was riding his bike and UNFORTUNATELY no-one saw him.

OKHere is the weird part though, at the crime scene, NOI mean absolutely NO forensic evidence was found. No prints, no DNA, no blood spatter, no hairs or fibers….I mean NADDA.ZIP….ZERO evidence.

It took authorities two years to finally arrest the husband, and here is why. Police found bicycle tire tracks that matched the husband’s bike just a short distance from the crime scene. Also there were footprints that matched the same kind that he wore.

He claims that YES, he was riding out that way, but that the evidence found was NOT his. Then, there was the matter of his cell phone. According to friends and relatives, his girls had tried to call him around the time of the murder but his cell was dead.

This was unusual they said as he ALWAYS had his cell phone on in case his girls called. He claims that his battery had died and that is why they couldn’t reach him. So, after two years, they arrested him with just the circumstantial evidence and held a trial.

Bottom line here folks, he was found guilty and sentenced to life in prison. OKI wasn’t on the jury, but, how could ANYONE not have reasonable doubt without ANY forensic evidence? This, to me, just frost my kidneyThis meansPISSED ME OFF!!!

I thought that here in America, people were INNOCENT until proven guilty. How in the HELL could they have proved him guilty without a SHRED of PHYSICAL evidence?

As I saidI was shocked and appalled, it made me question the Justice system, and made me wonder how many INNOCENT people have been put in jail under similar circumstances. To ME, this was a sad day. I WOULD like to hear your thoughts….What do YOU think? Let me know…

Until later…

 

 

Are You Starin’ at ME??????????

    

 

Last night I had to do one of my FAVORITE thingsA SHOPPING runNOT!!!!! What can I say, I had no choice, all I had to eat in the house was popcorn and orange juice. Now,don’t get me wrong, popcorn and orange juice is GREAT if you’re not having a dinner party, OR, if your friends are all stoned, drunk, or well… asleep, but THIS, probably wasn’t going to happen as I was entertaining clients from Mitsubishi.

YESI was having it catered, but… I ALSO cook and wanted to make my OWN orderves, and a scrumptious dessert, bottom line, the dreaded chore needed to be done.

A little background here, I was just coming from work and I was dressed for success. I was wearing a black pants suit with a white top, (OKI had 3 buttons undone SUE ME!!!), 3 inch heels and had on just a splash of Joy perfume. I was NOT going on the HUNT here folks, I just wanted to buy some damn food.

I entered the store around 7:00 PM and it was hoppin’. Well, from the minute I walked in, pretty much every guy that was within eye shot had glanced my way. Some, more cunning than others, gave the impression that they WEREN’T staring, yet they slyly turned their heads every time I turned MY head or went down the isle.

One guy actually stopped me, looked me in the eye and said, “I must be in Heaven cause I am looking at an angel”. Oh brother!!! SERIOUSLY!!! Is THAT the best you’ve got?? I just smiled and politely  said, “Sorry, no angels here, just us little Devils looking for some Mascarpone.” He smiled, I smiled, he tried to stop and talk, but I just excused myself, told him I was in a hurry and ventured on my way.

Twice more I was ogled, and it started to feel uncomfortable. Picking up what I needed, I quickly paid for the items and hightailed my little ass outta there and back to my place.

LookI like to be admired just like anyone else, it’s an ego booster, but here’s a tip, LOOK AT MY FACE… Not just at my BOOBS or my ASS. Next time, I will go home first, change into some baggy ass jeans, wear a cut off flannel shirt, and mess up my hair before shopping…. Geese!!!!!

Until Later…

 

 

The NOT So Giving Tree

 

Once upon a time, there was a tree and a little boy. The boy LOVED the tree and the tree loved the boy. The boy would always come by and swing on the tree’s branches, eat her apples, or just slide down her trunk. The tree and the boy were happy.

Time passed, one day, the boy was sad and came to swing on the tree’s branches. “Why are you sad said the tree?” “I need money to buy Cocaine”, said the boy, and “I have no money, everything I have stolen from my parents is gone.”

“Well, I don’t know what Cocaine is”, said the tree, “but, you can sell my apples and get some money to buy it, THEN, you will be happy.” So, the boy shook off all her apples and took them to sell for his drugs, then, the boy AND the tree were happy.

Once again, the years flew by and the boy, (Now a man), came back to the tree higher than a kite and PRETENDED to be sad. “Why are you sad said the tree?” “I need a boat to sail away from here and go to Brazil so the Feds won’t put me in prison said the boy.”

“Well”, said the tree, “I don’t HAVE a boat layin’ around, but you can cut off my branches to build one, THEN you will be happy.” So, the boy cut off all the tree’s branches and built the boat to sail away to Brazil, and the tree was HAPPY…

Many years passed, and the boy had NOT come to water the tree’s stump or spread manure around the ground to help her live. The tree was old, sad, and PISSED!!!

One day, out of the blue, the boy came back looking sad and said to the tree, “I am old now tree and I have spent all of my drug money, the Feds seized my house, and I have nowhere to live.” “Can I sit on your stump and commiserate with you?”

“FUCK NO, said the tree, I gave you my apples, let you cut off my branches, and for what, just to let you squander EVERYTHING I have done for you.” And with that, the tree, (Who had secretly been in cahoots with the Feds), alerted the authorities and dragged his no good sorry ass to the Federal Jail in Levenworth Kansas.

*****Moral*****

Don’t bite the fucking hand that feeds ya!!!!!!!!

The End……

Until Later…

Oh…. Apologies to Shel Silverstein—I just couldn’t help myself!!

 

 

 

Sexy Tuesday–Drunken Lust

 

Friday night, it’s been a LONG week, I’m hot, tired, and I need a drink. Rush rush rush, that’s what I do ALL day, no time to eat, and now, it’s party time. I’m excited and need some excitement.

Tonight is MY night for love, it’s been a while since I’ve had REAL Human contact and I will dress for sex. The lower cut the better tonight as I rummage through my closet and make sure that heads will turn in MY direction.
A cougar on the loose, that’s me, as I pick up my clutch, and head for the club. My body is starving for touch, Just THINKING about going home with someone starts my body to get moist, I am sexy, and ready as I enter the club.

The Music is blaring as I saunter over to the bar, making sure that my breasts are doing their work. As expected, heads turn as I order a dirty martini and try to act nonchalant.
I’m only sitting there about 5 minutes when a young 20 year old something pulls up a seat next to me and offers to buy me a drink. He is cute, so I say sure, the night has started.
Five or six drinks later, I am drunk and he has his hand down the back of my pants, feeling my ass when he asks if I wanna go home with him. Without hesitation, I slur, SURE, and he walks me to his car. A slow wet kiss is followed by a quick breast feel as he helps me.
We arrive at his place, a nice house in an up and coming neighborhood, he helps me out of the car and we go inside his home. I am drunk and willing, as he picks me up and carries me up to his bedroom.
He lights a candle which throws off beautiful shadows as he slowly disrobes me. His mouth is HOT against my heaving breasts, signals are sent to my pussy and I am FLOODED with wetness…
I am hisHe takes me, ties my hands against the bed posts and does the same with my feet. He undresses as I watch him and i can see that he is hung like a horse. I start to heave from excitement as he takes his hardened member and places it in my mouth.
Ready, willing, and EAGER am I to accomodate him, I lick and suck his hardness until I can see the excitement on his face. I tell him…”Let me TASTE your manhood”, as he moves it in and out of my mouth. “No He says, “I am saving my cum for your breasts”.
He removes his penis and starts rubbing it up against my wanting breasts. He cups me and moves his manhood between my ample crevices. I can tell that he is about to explode by his growing cries and his increasing hardness.
He SQUEEZES my breasts close against his throbbing cock until he climaxes all over my breastsI want it BAD now as he slowly wipes his cum over my chest and then permits me to taste it from his finger.
I yell out…”Eat me…..Eat me NOW….PLEASE!!!” Slowly kissing me from my breasts down, he arrives at the forbidden zone and starts to work his magic. As soon as his tongue swirls around my clit, I am HIS and I burst into an Orgasmic convulsion. Three more times he makes me scream with pleasure and NOW… He is hard again.
“Take me I moan”, as he places his hardened cock DEEP inside me, filling me with his passionOMG!!! He is Soooooo thick and again, I climax. Back and forth and in and out and thenHe arches his back and again explodes, THIS time inside me, filling me with his LOVE potion.
Untying me, we kiss and both collapse within each others arms. A Friday night to remember—Mission Accomplished.
Until Later…

 

 

Sue’s Fractured Fairy Tales

    

Once upon a time a long time ago, there lived 2 friends named Moose and Squirrel. They also had two enemies named Boris and Natashia. “NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Wait a minute here Sooz, that’s the Rocky and Bulwinkle show. You can’t talk about that without penalty of copyright infringement”…

OKHow about Once upon a timeBlaBlaBlaThere was a girl who lived with her grandmother in the woods. She always wore a red hoodie and had glass slippers.

“BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry Sooz, THAT’S the story of Little Red Riding Hood Rapper with a Cinderella twist.”

“Somehow , this just isn’t working out very well today for me is it?” “AlrightLet me try it one last time.” Once upon a Yadda… YaddaYadda, there lived 3 Billy Goats. Now… In the forest, there ALSO lived a mean old Troll under a bridge…”

“WAIT!!!!!!!!!!” “HOLD THE PHONE !!!!!!!!!! What is WRONG with you today Sooz, have you lost your creative powers and need to STEAL someone else’s work?” “I mean, is it really THAT hard to write a 300-500 word story that has GREAT content, is VERY amusing, and people will just never stop talking about how interesting it was and how it had a wonderful moral at the end?”

“Perhaps you should go back to drinking like a fish, at least when you were drunk, you always seemed to come up with something creativeGheese….”

“No, I’m not going back to drinking, I’ll just put a moral into THIS blog…

*******MORAL*******

“When you’re HOT, you’re HOT, when you’re NOT, you’re NOT, but when you’re LaidYou’re Happy…” “Oh SHUT UP!!! It WAS too funny!!!!”

Until Later…
 

Sensual Friday–Things That Make You Hot

   

SureI Could be talking about the weather here or extremely hot peppers but I’m NOT. I’m talking about sexual or sensual things that start your sexual engine, make you just wanna grab your partner OR the person next to you and just have crazy monkey sex.

Actually, I have never seen monkeys have sex so I don’t really know what all the hullabaloo is all about. Although, I am sure it is complete with watching porn, having expensive champagne and thenWell doing it!!!

Of course every one of us is different when it comes to THAT department. I, myself, like to see a sexy dressed woman in a low cut top and wide slit running down her leg. I also like to see guys with NICE butts and wearing nice tight pantsStarting to shiver here just thinking about that…

For many womenJust having a man do the dishes after the meal can create the spark necessary to ignite that sexual flame. Or, how about doing some of the house chores like vaccuming??? Ladies??? I also know that THIS would do it for ME!!!

Every one has a DIFFERENT turn on point, what’s yours??? Come on….This could be fun, PLUS, if you DO have a significant other, he/she should pay attention so that maybe they could “GET SOME” tonightHope to hear for you all…

Until Later…

Touch Me…Feel Me

I am WET, I am HOT, My body is in a raging fire that can only be quenched by the touch of my hand. It has only been two hours since the last time, and yet, I feel the NEED, the CRAVING deep within my loins, crying out for satisfaction.

I am in a state of heightened sexual tension and I NEED to pacify this urge, this addiction that only my touch can accomplish. I lock the door of my office, have all my calls held, and then lie on my couch WAITING for my NEED to be satisfied.

My dress is already raised, and my blouse loosened for the next step, my salvation is forthcoming. My hand takes the lotion that is near me, and applies its creamy texture to my breasts, and my nipples as I squeeze them gently, making them hard.

My loins, already soaked and dripping like drops of rain down my panties, YURNS for my softened hand. Slowly, I part my panties and dive into my sea of pleasure. Slowly at first, making sure that all areas of my pleasure box have been covered.

I am quietly starting to moan in pleasure now as my two fingers slip in and out of my scented garden. I am writhing in pleasure as my fingers find their way around my pea shaped pleasure button. Slowly at first, and then faster and faster until I can NO LONGER contain my pleasure.
Gasping and moaning, I raise my back and explode into ecstasy. Silently, I lay there until my pulsation has been quieted. I am satisfied until the next time. Welcome to MY world…

Until Later…

Just Ask Sooz

https://i2.wp.com/rwandapaparazzi.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/A-couple-making-love-on-a-bed-15919322.jpg
Dear Sooz:
I have come to you today because I am at the end of my rope. I am a 32 year old woman who has a sexual problem, my husband. When we were first married, we were having sex around 5 times a week, now, we are down to maybe twice a month.
Sooz, I know this is weird, but I have an unusually high sex drive. I always thought that it was men that loved sex and would do just about anything to get it, it seems that the situation for me, is running haywire.

I have done everything from talk to him about it to buying sexy lingerie and surprising him with it. He says that he is just too tired to participate. Is this strange, or is it me? We have been married for 10 years now and I am actually thinking seriously of having an affair just to get my needs met. Can you help me?

Oversexed in Ohio

Dear Oversexed:

First off, please don’t run out and have an affair. This may help you immediately, but can REALLY screw things up for you, especially the guilt factor. It seems to me that unless there is something different in the way he has been working lately, there definitely could be something ELSE going on here. You need to find out the root of the problem before this can be solved.

While it is TRUE that after 10 years of marriage people tend to settle into a comfortable routine and don’t have sex AS often, but, it seems like there has been quite a shift in his sexual prowess. Does he watch a lot of Porn, gamble, drink too much, take blood pressure medication, or medicine for depression? Something else is definitely going on here.

Since you have already spoken to him about this, I recommend seeing a therapist and let them uncover what is REALLY going on. It could be a number of things, mental or physical. I can TOTALLY understand your problem as I myself have a very high sex drive, and would be wondering the same thing. Be patient with him, try and get him to go to a therapist. Many times he will open up to someone else and then things could go back to “normal” again.

I know this must be extremely difficult for you, but in the mean time, rev up that dildo or vibrator and at least get the temporary satisfaction you so dearly need. I wish you much luck.

 

 

Ten Qualities Woman Find Attractive in Men


In my Dear Sooz letters, men constantly ask me what can they do to attract the ladies. Usually, I will be flip at first and tell them to have a big bank roll and a very prestigious job like a king, or possibly someone who has found the cure for AIDS. For many women, these things would be great, but, seriously, how many of this type of man are out there?
I have done countless hours of research, (Talked to some of my friends), and this is what we all agreed on.

1. Have a sense of Humor— I mean seriouslyWho doesn’t like someone who is funny and can keep you entertained? He doesn’t have to be a comedian, just someone who has a quick wit and can keep your smile on.

2. Be confident— I have said this before, but it is well worth repeating, WE (women), like guys who believe in themselves. Now I DON’T mean, arrogant, just someone who is sure of himself, who knows what he wants and then how to get it.

3. Someone who is Spontaneous— We LOVE being surprised guys. It’s always nice to get those little unsuspected gifts or TRIPS to EUROPE, (Just a thought here guys for future reference)Surprise us…We LOVE it!!!
4. Be Open-minded— This shows us that you are willing to LISTEN to what we say and then discuss it. ***This is a BIGGIE guys***

5. Kindness— I know this should go without saying, but it’s actually getting harder and harder to find someone who is “really” kind…

6. Intelligence— OKYou don’t have to be a rocket scientist (Although, it wouldn’t hurt either), but at least have the ability to add the 20% to the restaurant bill without a calculator.

7. Compassionate— This is also an important trait as it seems that both men AND women over the past decade seemed to have lost this important quality. Believe me, it is VERY endearing to us…

8. Cleanliness— When you take us out where something approach. Fashion changes all the time and that’s fine, but don’t take us to the Ritz and wear ripped jeans and a Tee shirt. Wear deodorant, shave, (Unless you have a beard of course), and for God’s sake brush your teeth and use breath mints if you have Godzilla breath.

9. Initiative— We LOVE a guy who will step up to the plate and be able to make decisions. There is nothing I hate worse than having to make all the decisions or have a guy flip/flop over just about every issue that comes up. MAKE a DECISION for goodness sake…

10. A good Conversationalist— Let me be clear hereBoth parties should carry a conversation, please don’t make us handle it all though. Be well read, find some topics that you feel is interesting and run with it. NO…..NOT Nuclear Physics and how the atom can be split by a cyclotron… Now, if it’s being split by two Popsicle sticks, then by all means carry on…

I’m sure that women have many, many more, but these seemed to be the most brought up qualities….Let’s be fair here folks neither men nor women are going to possess ALL of these traits, however, a few of these would be great. Thanks for listening and I will catch you all later…
Until Later…

How to Become a Happy Person

    

Ella Wheerler Wilcox wrote: Laugh and the world laughs with you, Weep, and you weep alone. How true the beginning line of her poem is, isn’t it?

We All wanna be happy campers and here are just a few ways to accomplish that goal. Drink more….”No….No….No… That’s not right Sooz… Come on here…. People respect you and might actually start DOING that.” “Oops!!! MY BAD!!! How about snort more Coke???” Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “Be serious here for just a minute now will yaGheese!!!”

 “Oh, OK”I will, but I thought these were funny.” “They WERE, but you need to give folks the STRAIGHT skinny here or they’re not gonna keep reading your”. YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKGotcha…

1.   Try and hang out with Happy and Funny people. Remember… Momma would always say,” You ARE who you hang out with. OK, Momma NEVER  REALLY really said that BUT, anytime MOMMA was attached to the sentence, people have a tendency to BELIEVE itAnyway, it SOUNDS good.

2.   Be compassionateThe more compassionate you are, the better it will make YOU feel. The better YOU feel, the happier you will be.

3.   DO random acts of kindness for people. Ex. Pay for the guys lunch in a Macdonalds lineOR, how about paying the quarter toll for one or several people on State Hwys? Again, this will make you feel good about yourself and HOPEFULLY, the people you did it for will also respond in kind some time.

4.   Smile more. It takes a lot less muscles to frown than it does to smile. Plus, it’s HARD to be upset, mad, sad, or have negative emotions when you are smiling. SMILE DAMMIT!!!!!!

5.   Believe in yourself—This is a KEY point. If you have faith and confidence in yourself, you can FEEL the energy just explode through your body. It has been proven that confident people are much happier people AND they LIVE longer too… Ya wanna LIVE longer don’t ya?

6. Start the day with positive affirmations–Ex. When you get up in the morning, roll outta that bed and say…”This is gonna be the BEST day ever”This will help you set the tone for the day and it will ALSO feed your energyDon’t BELIEVE it??? Try it!!!

7.   Forgive others— This is a powerful one,and also one that has to be practiced sometimes over and over to make it an inbred thing. The truth isThe more we are able to forgive others for their transgressions, the less negative energy we will carry with us,and thus, we will become happier people. Try these and I GUARANTEE you will become a happier person. OKReady??? Try these now or I’m tellin‘ your Momma…

Until Later…