I read your column all the time and I have a problem I need to share with you. I am an 18 year old girl with a 23 year old boyfriend. I will be attending college this year and Bob, my boyfriend, says he would like to be with me while I go to college.
Sooz, I am torn here. While I love Bob and he says he loves me, everyone tells me that my college years should be the most exciting and fun time of my life. I am torn between having a boyfriend that really cares for me, or breaking it off with him and be single again so I can enjoy all the “benefits” of college.
Obviously, I want both but I am afraid that I can not do that to Bob. I am somewhat inexperienced as I have only had two other boyfriends before him. What should I do?
Torn in Tennessee
At 18, you have your whole life ahead of you. Usually, while in college, your WILD side may come out and you may want to experience the many joys that college life has to offer. I believe that being with Bob through this would just be leading him on.
I would tell him that while you have feelings for him, you want to explore the college experience and not be tied down to just one person. If at the end of your college career you still wish to pursue this relationship, then good. If you still love him at this point, you both will be older and will have the emotional maturity you need to MAKE that decision.
I know that when I was in college, I was always the WILD child and had one HELL of an experience. I say break it off and let the marbles roll where they will. Now, get out there and party hardy, but, oh yeah… Study hard too… “WINK”!! Good luck with your decision…