I have come to you today because I am at the end of my rope. I am a 32 year old woman who has a sexual problem, my husband. When we were first married, we were having sex around 5 times a week, now, we are down to maybe twice a month.
Sooz, I know this is weird, but I have an unusually high sex drive. I always thought that it was men that loved sex and would do just about anything to get it, it seems that the situation for me, is running haywire.
I have done everything from talk to him about it to buying sexy lingerie and surprising him with it. He says that he is just too tired to participate. Is this strange, or is it me? We have been married for 10 years now and I am actually thinking seriously of having an affair just to get my needs met. Can you help me?
Oversexed in Ohio
First off, please don’t run out and have an affair. This may help you immediately, but can REALLY screw things up for you, especially the guilt factor. It seems to me that unless there is something different in the way he has been working lately, there definitely could be something ELSE going on here. You need to find out the root of the problem before this can be solved.
While it is TRUE that after 10 years of marriage people tend to settle into a comfortable routine and don’t have sex AS often, but, it seems like there has been quite a shift in his sexual prowess. Does he watch a lot of Porn, gamble, drink too much, take blood pressure medication, or medicine for depression? Something else is definitely going on here.
Since you have already spoken to him about this, I recommend seeing a therapist and let them uncover what is REALLY going on. It could be a number of things, mental or physical. I can TOTALLY understand your problem as I myself have a very high sex drive, and would be wondering the same thing. Be patient with him, try and get him to go to a therapist. Many times he will open up to someone else and then things could go back to “normal” again.
I know this must be extremely difficult for you, but in the mean time, rev up that dildo or vibrator and at least get the temporary satisfaction you so dearly need. I wish you much luck.