Scribbles Challenge–The Final Good Bye

In this challenge, we were supposed to write a story, poem, or humorous piece which represented the picture given. Below is MY take on the picture.

“I love you”, he whispered tenderly, as he picked up his valise and crept quietly towards the door. It was only to be a two day business trip, one in which he had taken many times before, only THIS time, she felt a sense of doom lurking overhead.

 He had asked if she wanted to go with him, but, she reclined, listing a myriad of things that needed to be attended to around the house. That uneasy feeling would just not leave her as she heard John’s taxi pull away from the curb.

He called that night, which made her feel more at ease, but still that nagging recurring feeling would just not let her be. It had been years since her anxiety had taken its hold on her, and yet, she felt like it was slowly creeping back again.

She decided to have a drink, watch some TV and just see if she could relax. She poured a double Bourbon and Coke, sat down, and watched TV by the fire. God that tasted good, she thought as the drink warmed and relaxed her entire body. She was FINALLY at ease and slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

She awoke at 3:14 Am from the sound of the phone ringing off the hook. “Hello”, she answered, “Mrs. Pettimore, this is Dr. Mills from San Francisco Memorial Hospital, your husband was brought in with a gunshot wound, and I’m afraid he is gone.”

Stunned and in shock, she dropped the phone and let out a blood curdling scream…”Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!” Tears started to stream down her face like raindrops flowing into a pond as she picked up the phone.

“I’m sorry mam”, said the Dr. and gave her the location to the Hospital. Immediately, she got dressed, and booked a flight to San Francisco.
When she arrived at the Hospital, she was escorted to the morgue for verification of her husband. As the attendants pulled back the sheet and exposed John’s face, she broke down and cried.

 She asked to be left alone for a few minutes, and while alone, she said her three final words to her beloved husband, “I love you.”

 

10 Signs That Indicate You Need to Get Laid Now

Woman Masturbating 2
1.   · You start making out with your toy stuffed elephant AND, it’s a GOOD kisser

2.     You start listening to your pre-mixed love song CDs

3.   · It’s been so long, your monthly EGGS are now hard boiled (THINK ABOUT IT)

·4.    The 300 lb cable guy starts looking like an Adonis, and you’re NOT even drunk

5.   · You keep watching Casablanca over and over

6.   · You’re wearing your sexy panties to go to 7-11

7.   · You’re thinking of asking your vibrator to marry you

8.   · At the zoo, you get excited by seeing a gorilla with a woody

·9.    You become excited by watching your long, hard, bathtub faucet run

10.   You approach eating bananas by LICKING them first

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz:

I have been reading your posts now for a while, and I think you are just the person I need for a straight answer. Here’s the problem, my husband and I have been married or two years and in all that time, I have NEVER experienced a vaginal orgasm.

If the truth be told, I have rarely even experienced a clitoral orgasm unless I give it to myself. Is it me, or, is it my husband? When I was single and masturbated, I always came to orgasm, now, however, it’s like hit or miss. What can I do to correct his problem?

Hot to Trot

Dear Hot to Trot:

Not to fear, Sooz is here. OK, that was cheesy, but STILL cute. Since you’ve mentioned coming to orgasm a lot when you were single, the problem is NOT you. I WILL say this, however, many women don’t easily have vaginal orgasms. It’s not to say you CAN’T, you just have to know where your G spot IS and what to do once you find it.

OK, first things first, TALK to your husband and let him know what ISN’T going on with you. SHOW him how to stimulate your clit, take his hand and GUIDE him first to get you really excited before having intercourse.

Once you are very wet and excited, “Mr. Happy” should be able to finish the job. Start slow, have him bring you to orgasm a few times with his hand, AFTER you’ve shown him what feels good to you. This should help improve your odds or having an orgasm exponentially. 

Now, point two, Vaginal orgasms, this one must be learned and practiced before IF you can have them they become regular. Take two fingers and place them in your vagina, push them way up there and curl them until you feel a spongy areaTHIS is your G spot. Using your fingers, (At first), slowly move them against your G spot in a come hither motion. Many times it may take up to a half hour or so before you explode, but BABYYou WILL explode.

Don’t be upset if you can’t do it at first, practice makes perfect. Once you get the hang of it, explain how to do it for your husband, and then Shoot for the moonGood luck!!!

Sooz’s Naughty Nursery Rhymes

We’ve all heard THIS nursery rhyme, but how many of you know THE REAL STORY???

“Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down, and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.”

Cute and catchy eh? Yeah, but not quite as sweet as all that. Here’s what REALLY happened.
A long time ago, in Bogota, Columbia, there lived a boy named Juanito, (Jack) Sanchez. Juanito was always a troubled boy, he was born into an impoverished family with 4 brothers and 3 sisters. Never getting the attention he deserved, at the age of 13 he decided to run with a gang.

Trouble seemed to follow him where ever he went, and his list of wrongdoings increased when at 18, he joined the Escobar Cartel. His responsibilities were to buy, sell, and distribute cocaine to those who were willing to use his product. Things were going good for Juanito until he met a girl named Jillena Rodriguez, (Pronounced Hill-Ay-Na)…

Jillena was smart and sexy, but, bad to the bone. (Bad to the Bone music playing in the background). It didn’t take Juanito long to fall head over heals for this sexy temptress. Together, they and the Cartel, ran the fear of God into the surrounding communities.

They had it all, fast cars, money to burn, and a sex life that put rabbits to shame.  Then, one day, Jillena took Juanito aside and said to him, “Why don’t we take a cut out of the Cartels pocket, get incredibly rich and leave for America to start our OWN distribution ring?”

He was reluctant at first, but, she had eyes that just burned through his soul, and he became a slave to her whimsies. They had it all planned out. They were to go up Mt. Vargus, pick up a shipment of high quality blow from the Cartel to distribute, and then just vanish into the sunset.

The day came, and Juanito and Jillena climbed the mountain to pick up the shipment. Now Emilio Escobar, (Cartel leader), was NOT a stupid man, he had overheard of the couples plan from a third party that just happened to be watching them.

The Cartel was waiting in hiding as Jack and Jill picked up the shipment. Just as soon as Jack started down the hill with his stash, they sprang from their hidden enclosures and with baseball bats beat Jack and Jill, all that was left was their bloody remains.

The Cartel picked up their coke, and dumped Jack and Jill’s body over that mountain where anyone who found them would KNOW not to mess with Emilio Escobar and the Cartel. The news of Jack and Jill’s murder became news and the legend was created. Ahhhhhhh.Good Times!!!

And NOW you know the REAL story!!!!!!

Note: All proceeds collected from this story go to Jack and Jill’s family in Phoenix AzC/O Sooz….

 

 

Life After Death—Fact or Fiction

 

Heaven

Yesterday I answered a questionnaire by Aoifemarie, and one of the questions was: “Have You Ever Had a Near Death Experience?” This had always been a philosophical question in my mind between my upbringing, and my intellect.

I was raised as a “good” Catholic girl from an Irish family, yet, I never really believed in life after death. I guess in my OWN mind, I considered myself an Agnostic. I believed in an ENTITY, OR, a Spirituality if you will, but never really bought the concept of a Heaven or Hell.

As I grew older, I read many books on the subject, both pro and con, and I had determined that the concept whereby people saw a light, or floated above their bodies, was just  an element of the brain which was dying, seeming to ease one’s transition from life to death.

This was all well and good UNTIL I contracted Pneumonia. I had a very bad case, and it was excruciating to breathe. I remember just laying in the hospital bed wheezing for air. All of a sudden, I remember my body seeming to get lighter and lighter.

I remember feeling like I was floating ABOVE my body. I KNOW this sounds ridiculous, but it IS what happened. A team of around 10-12 Dr’s and nurses gathered around me, and started hand compressions on my heart as others raced for the defibrillator. At this point, I realized that I had died. From a distance, I say a corridor of white light, and at the end of this light, I saw my father, (Who had been dead for years), motioning to me to go back into my body.

I remember the Dr’s saying, “Charge to 100, then 120”, yet I felt NO pain, only a blissful happiness. I heard one Dr. ask,  “How long has she been gone now,” and one of the nurses answered, “a minute plus.” Again, I looked towards my father who THIS time, spoke to me just as clear as ever, “Princess, it’s not your time yet, go back.”

Acknowledging him with a big smile, I felt my body slowly return to my Earthly home. My eyes opened, and I heard one of the nurses say, “Welcome back young lady.” It was an experience I shall ever forget, and one that has made me a believer in life after death.

Until Later…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sooz’s Answers to Aoifemarie’s Survey

 

I have alwas been addicted to answering surveys, so when I saw this, I just couldn’t resist. THANKS Aoifemarie….Hehehehe….

Are you a good liar?

HeyI’m in the Advertizing businessI’m a GREAT liar. Personal life–Only to protect someone’s feelings.

 

How did you fall in love the first time?

That’s an interesting question for me because I don’t believe I have EVER been in love. LUST everyday, never really had a long lasting relationship romantically.

A. I am usually too BZ, 

B. I don’t know if I am really capable of love based on my obsession with sex.

Are you currently or have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy?

Alcohol has been always my master. From the time I was small until just a few months ago I was drunk to some extent most of the time. Also nymphomania is another addiction…. Hey… EVERYONE needs a COUPLE of faults, RIGHT???
 

Could you handle the rigors of a long distance relationship?

NOPE!!! I’m afraid I wouldn’t make a very stable mate. My insatiable sex addiction would keep me from EVER being faithfulSAD…:(

Does/would your parent’s opinion of your partner matter to you?

If I WAS ever able to enter into a relationship NO!!! I am my own master and wouldn’t care what my parents thought about it if they were alive.
 

In your own eyes, are you a good person?

Good to who? Good is such a relative word. In MY eyes, yes, in many peoples eyes, No!!!

Have you ever had a near-death experience?

Yes!!! I had pneumonia once and actually died on the table for a minute before they could revive meTHAT’s a whole other UNBELIEVABLE blog in itself…

What is one quality that you think instantly makes someone attractive?

A HUGE wallet!!! Hehehehe.NO, humor has always been able to snag me into you. THAT, and honesty, there isn’t a lot of that going around in the world today.

What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?
I had a sheik for a client once who became enamored with me. He flew me to his country for dinner, drinks, and of course sex…

Do you think that physical chemistry is an important part of a relationship?

Oh YES!!! While some would say that it’s the mental aspect which keeps the heart glowing, I say it’s the genitals. 😉

Would you marry your partner if you knew they were suffering from a terminal illness?

If I was ever lucky enough to fall in love with someone, It WOULDN’T matter to me at all. I say grab the brass ring while you can and enjoy the happiness.

What was the worst thing you got grounded for as a child?

It was ALWAYS for getting drunk and doing something that the cops and I and friends didn’t agree onHehehehe…

Are you a person who keeps enemies, grudges or negative thoughts about a person?

Why??? What have you heard??? NoLife is too short to hold grudges, I just try and move on…

Sexy Thursday–The Need

Morning breaks, and beads of wettness dance between my legs.
My NEED has awakened me, my humble servant’s hand responds.
Slowly caressing my naked flesh, as my garden responds heavenly to its touch.
Feel me, it cries out, Touch me, it pleads, come to me and explore my crevice.

Respectfully,my hand responds, as it glides slowly around my nipples.
Gracefully circling, softly pinching them together, my garden cries for its OWN attention now as I slowly feel my way down to pleasures nest.
Aching now for comfort, I encircle my mound, while inserting a finger inside my burning crevice.

I am HOT, I am Wanting, Pleasure is the ONLY thing on my mind.
In and out and around the garden I touch until containment is NO longer possible.
I am a slave, a slave to my needs, and my body KNOWS it.
Faster I feel until relief explodes through a wave of pleasure.

Pleasure has come, My NEED has won out, until the next time.

    

 

 

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